Broken
by Gwen King
Summary: James "Bucky" Barnes has been disassociated from his alter-ego, the Winter Soldier, but fears of still being the monster he once was set the Wakanda royal family to helping him by bringing PTSD specialist Destiny Hunt. Battling her own demons of abandonment and loss, Des has devoted her life to helping others in their struggles. Together, they're broken. Together, can they be whole
1. Chapter 1

I stepped off the private stealth jet – the only private jet I'd ever been on before – in the African country of Wakanda and let out a gasp. Even standing there on the landing pad, I could see the most beautiful city on the planet stretched out before me, the mixture of traditional and futuristic architecture taking my breath away.

"Holy mother goose," I whispered, looking around. "This is awesome."

"Ms. Hunt," I heard a strong but distinctly feminine voice say as a statuesque African woman approached me trailed by several other bald but no less beautiful women. "Welcome to Wakanda, Ms. Hunt. I am Ramonda."

"Your Highness." I started to bow but was met with a laugh that caused me to look up. "Sorry. I didn't get a lot of information on Wakandan royal protocol in my google search."

She extended her hand. "Because there isn't any protocol, Ms. Hunt. We're more informal than most aristocracies you'll find around the world." She winked. "We're cool like that."

I smiled as I took the queen's hand and shook it, impressed by her grace and charm. I could see where Shuri got her style. "Thank you for the warm welcome. No disrespect, but I half expected to meet with Shuri and the king when I arrived."

She nodded as she gestured for me to walk with her. "We'll be joining them shortly, Ms. Hunt. First, I wanted to meet with you."

"Ma'am?"

She smiled. "Shuri has always spoken highly of you. I wanted to see for myself what kind of person you are before my children have a chance to corrupt you."

I laughed. "No chance of that, your Highness."

"I can tell you have a very strong character already, Ms. Hunt." She smiled. "I'm pleased to see my daughter has excellent choice in friends."

"I'm honored you think so, Queen Ramonda." I felt myself blush a little, uncomfortable with the compliment. "Shuri mentioned that there was something special she needed my help with but didn't tell me much about it."

"There is a task she would like your assistance with, but I'll let her and T'Challa give you more detail. Right now, my children would like you to join them for lunch at the market," she explained as we left the landing pad and stepped into the busy streets. "I tried to explain that you might be tired after your long journey, but since he is the king I must accept his will… Most of the time."

I grinned. "You are his mother, after all."

She turned to me and grinned as well. "I am that, Ms. Hunt, and as a mother, I worry. If you'd like to rest before meeting them, they will understand."

I shook my head. "No, ma'am. I slept most of the way over and I'm eager to get to work. Thank you, though."

"Of course." She gestured for me to follow. "This way."

By the time we made our way to the rooftop garden less than a block from the landing pad, I was already dizzy with excitement. The city's energy was unlike anything I'd felt before and it filled me with hope to see how advanced yet still connected the people of Wakanda were.

The queen, for the most part, kept silent. However, I knew she was studying me. Whatever they had planned for me to do, they wanted to make sure I was the right person for the job. Lost in my own thoughts, I didn't even realize we were standing in front of King T'Challa and Shuri until a bald woman announced us.

"Her Highness Queen Ramonda and Ms. Destiny Hunt from the United States," the woman said as the queen took a seat to the right of the king while his fiancée, Nakia, and Shuri sat to his left.

Startled back into reality, I bowed my head again and made a clumsy attempt at the cross-armed salute I'd seen online. "Your Highness. It's an honor to finally meet you."

"Told you she'd act funny," Shuri, who I'd known since our research days in Brazil, teased as she came over.

"Sorry I ain't never been around royalty before, brat," I shot back playfully before catching myself as the king stood as well. "Pardon me, your Highness."

"No apologies needed, Ms. Hunt." King T'Challa said as we shook hands. "Shuri explained your tendency for formality until you're comfortable."

I blushed and tried to change the subject. "Thank you for inviting me here. Your country is beautiful. Beyond beautiful. I'm so honored to be here."

"Oh, shut up and sit down," Shuri rolled her eyes before hugging me. "Thanks for coming, Des."

I grinned as I took the empty seat next to her. "Still piss and vinegar I see."

The others laughed as King T'Challa added, "An excellent description of my sister."

"Not fair," she protested. "The only reason I was belligerent was because you refused to accept my brilliance."

I smiled, beginning to relax into our comfortable banter. "Yes. That's the same brilliance that got our lab and all my supplies blown sky high. But thank you for the new ones and the nice little grant that's been funding me for the past three years."

"Your research on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is groundbreaking," King T'Challa said with a smile. "We're happy to help in whatever small way we can."

I nodded my thanks. "No, sir. Your funding is the only thing that's been keeping my work alive. Well, that and the tech a friend of mine got a hold of for me. Honestly, it's been a Godsend for some of the vets I've been working with. It's amazing to see how far they can come when someone just takes a little time and concern."

"Of course, but your empathetic abilities must also play no small part in the healing process." He said as our meals were served. "Were you born with the ability?"

Surprised by the openness toward my gift, I looked away from him. "With all due respect, your highness, I'm just good at reading people. If you're implying I have some kind of supernatural ability, you're going to be very disappointed."

"I see," he replied, a hint of a smile dancing in the corner of his lips which I didn't need my powers to know was sarcasm.

"To quote an old friend," Shuri commented under her breath, "'Break out the hip boots cause it's getting deep in here.'"

I laughed. "All right, Princess. Maybe I'm a little sensitive."

"Banned in Vegas is more like it." She smiled. "And Morocco"

"I thought it was Reno and Atlantic City," the queen commented with a smile that mirrored Shuri's.

"I believe Biloxi, Mississippi, too," the king added with his own grin. "Ms. Hunt, you do have a bit of a reputation."

"All right." I shook my head, embarrassed by my youthful recklessness. "So, yeah. I'm a little more than sensitive, but I really don't think y'all asked me here for my gambling skills. What's this project you're needing help on? And who's this Bucky guy whose name keeps popping up."

The trio exchanged pleased expressions before the king spoke, "Let's enjoy our meal, Ms. Hunt, while we tell you about the White Wolf."


	2. Chapter 2

"So," I said, staring out the window of the massive all-terrain vehicle as we traveled deeper into the rural villages only two hours after our lunch. "This Barnes guy, y'all call him White Wolf. That is a term of endearment, right?"

"It's the name the villagers gave him. Shuri rotated her captain's chair, letting the vehicle's auto-pilot take over so she could look at me. "Pretty fitting for a white boy."

I nodded. "But?"

"The files I gave you are just the tip of the iceberg. We've been able to remove the programming used to weaponize him, but the mental issues." She shook her head and sighed. "He's scared, Des. He still thinks he could be a danger to others. No one can get close to him. He needs someone who understands. A friend."

I nodded, remembering other soldiers who'd faced the struggle. "I'm happy to do what I can, but he's got to want help. If he's not ready…" I trailed off.

"He's ready." The ATV came to a stop. "He wants to be normal again."

"If you're looking for normal, I'm so far from that," I commented as the doors opened for us. "Damn, Shuri, I can't believe you're a princess over all this. I mean, I knew you were royalty, but I thought it was just like a ceremonial title. Do you want me to start bowing to you or something?"

"You do and I'll make sure you never stand up straight again." She pointed to a single hut set apart from the others just as three little boys entered. "Wait here. I'll go get him."

I nodded as she made her way toward the hut; her progress slowed by her paused to acknowledge each villager she passed. I smiled, glad that my friend was one of those fairytale heroines instead of the standard princess in distress. Clearly, Wakanda wasn't the place where one would kiss the princess. She'd probably kick your ass.

The boys exited the hut just as Shuri came to stand in front of it. They greeted her before running off in a fit of mischievous laughter. After several seconds, I saw a man dressed in a traditional chest wrap and what looked to be military fatigues finally emerged. His fair skin was a stark contrast to the somewhat shaggy hair that fell loosely to his solid shoulders. As he turned to Shuri, I could make out the perfectly shaped nose and sharp jawline thinly covered by a dark beard.

 _Damn_ , I thought as they turned and began making their way toward me. _He's hot._

I didn't even notice his missing arm until they were standing a few feet from me. Still, the lost limb didn't distract from the overall appeal of the man. If anything, it added an approachability that attractive guys lacked.

"Bucky, this is Destiny Hunt," Shuri offered a quick nod as they stood in front of me. "I asked her here to help with your recovery."

"Pleased to meet you." I smiled but didn't bother offering my hand when I noticed his reluctance when he drew away slightly.

He gave a curt nod that caused his hair to fall over one eye. "Ms. Hunt."

"No, sir." I gently teased him. "Ms. Hunt was my dad's wives. I'm just Destiny or Des. Unless you prefer I call you Mr. Barnes."

"It's just Bucky." He replied, his eyes downcast. "I don't like doctors."

"Me neither." I chuckled. "Good thing neither of us is one, huh?"

When he finally looked up at me, I fought back a gasp. His eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue I'd ever seen. "Then what are you?"

"I don't really have an official title, but I'm more like a therapist if we have to put a name on it," I explained, happy to focus on my credentials instead of those haunting eyes. "I use technology and good old-fashion counseling to help people work through there issues. My specialty is working with people with PTSD."

"Shuri said you're an empath too."

I nodded. "I am."

"I don't want you poking around inside my head," he said flatly.

Again, I nodded. "That's fine. I'll only do what you're comfortable with. Bucky, I'm just here to help you out. You have to tell me how you want to do this. I got the tools, but it's up to you to use them."

He stared at me for several seconds, gauging me as so many others had done before. I held my own, knowing if I showed any weakness or hesitation we'd be done before we even got started. If I was going to help him, I needed to pass his test. Thankfully, when I caught sight of a tiny smile I knew I'd won him over.

"All right, Destiny. What do we need to do first?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you sure you want to stay here?" Shuri asked for the fourth time.

I smiled as I nodded. "He's comfortable here. I don't want to take him into an unfamiliar environment until we've built some trust. It'll be better all around if I stay here and work with him."

"But you hate being outdoors."

"No, I hated being outdoors in Brazil in the rain and mosquitoes. That's also why I'm counting on my favorite tech guru to hook me up with all the comforts of home." I patted her shoulder as the door of the ATV opened automatically. "And I'd love a bathtub too. You know, the big free-standing type with jets and stuff."

She rolled her eyes as she climbed in. "All right, but if you need anything."

"I'll call you." I held up the bracelet, which she'd explained was a holographic communicator. "Or whatever this thing does. Don't worry. I'll be just fine."

"I'll have your quarters delivered before nightfall." She grinned. "Thank you, my friend."

"No problem." I glanced over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of Bucky standing next to a pristine lake. "And make sure you get those things I asked for to me soon. I got a feeling their going to help with the trust issues."

She gave me one more grinning nod before turning and heading back to the capital. Once she was out of sight, I stared a Bucky before heading over. Pausing several feet from him, I waited to be acknowledged.

"You're staying here?" He asked, never looking away from the lake.

"You don't want me to?"

He shrugged. "It's fine. Just wondering where you're gonna sleep."

Before I could stop myself, I teasingly blurted out, "Hopefully, with you."

He jerked his head to stare at me with a look of horror that made me laugh.

"I'm just kidding, Bucky." I took a step closer. "Shuri's going to get some living quarters brought out before dark. Your man-cave is safe from the female invasion."

His shoulders relaxed. "So where do we start?"

"This is a good place." I took another step closer. "We can just talk and get to know each other."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Cause I want to help." Seeing his body stiffen to my canned response, I added, "Cause I couldn't help my dad from putting a bullet in his head."

Again, he relaxed. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," I mumbled, finally standing beside him. "I meant what I said. Where we go from here is up to you. I won't push or prod until you're ready. Whatever you tell or show me is because you want to. I'm just here to help."

"Like a friend." He sighed. "I'd like that."

"Me too. But first-" I sat down at the edge of the water. "Got any fishing poles? I'm dying to see if they're biting."

By the time a helicopter set down the circular building I'd call home during my stay, Bucky and I had been catching and releasing the brave little perch-like fish that took our bait for nearly two hours.

While we spoke on occasion, we mostly sat in a comfortable silence. I kept my promise and didn't use my empathic talents to sense his emotional state. Not that I needed to; his stiffness eased over time as we listened to the sounds of nature all around us.

"Home sweet home," I announced as I got up and went to the building once it was settled. The dark metal structure started to shift in color, blending into the surroundings while still being visible. The seven-foot door faced Bucky's hut, making it easy to access from his place if needed while still giving us privacy from one another.

As I passed the threshold, a female voice announced, "Good afternoon, Ms. Hunt. I'm Ruth, your virtual assistant."

I smiled. "Hi, Ruth. Can you turn on the lights, please?"

"With pleasure."

The bright LED's from the ceiling bathed the open floorplan flat in white light, revealing a fully functional kitchenette, table for dining, and living room with sectional sofa and round coffee table. There was also a large touchscreen interface with holographic projector mounted on top of a massive monitor.

"What? No bed? No toilet? No bathtub?" I teased.

A door at the far end of the living room slid open to a massive frameless bed only a few feet from a bathroom which included a massive freestanding bathtub.

"Shuri, you're amazing," I squealed as I rushed into my bedroom and dove into the tub still fully clothed. I relaxed back, imagining the hours I'd spending wasting time soaking in it.

"Are you sure you'd like to bath in your clothes, Ms. Hunt?" Ruth asked with a bit of what sounded like surprise.

I laughed as I got out. "No, Ruth. Not now, but later for sure."

"Yes, ma'am. By the way, your additional items have been put away for you. Will there be anything else?"

I smiled as I saw Bucky ease inside and quietly survey the building approvingly. "Send a message to Shuri thanking her and that's all for now."  
"Not exactly roughing it, are you?' He grumbled, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice I latched onto.

"The Wi-Fi is super-crappy here so no online gaming." I shrugged. "That's roughing it, isn't it?"

He shook his head and smiled the first genuine smile since I'd arrived. I couldn't help but be pleased with the progress I'd already made with him.

"I should go," he said, slipping toward the door. "So you can settle in."

"If you want." I paused, allowing him a moment to overcome the obvious apprehension he felt. When his posture loosened, I added, "Or I could grab a couple of beers and we could watch a movie?"

"Okay."

I almost ran to the kitchenette but managed not to overreact. I knew what seemed like tiny gestures of acceptance where massive undertakings for him. I couldn't afford to make him feel uncomfortable with my elation over his willingness to work with me. Still, it was hard for me not to congratulate myself for making the right decision by staying.

"Oh!" I called as he settled onto the plush sectional. I pulled the carefully wrapped box out of the fridge along with two beers. "Shuri told me you were from New York, so I had something special sent over."

He eyed me cautiously as I set the box and beers down between us before I took a seat on the other end. Aware of how some veterans react to the unexpected, I slowly lifted the lid to reveal half a dozen fully dressed hotdogs.

His eyes widened in disbelief as I lifted one out and handed it over. "Are these…?"

"Nathan's hotdogs direct from the Coney Island store." I grinned as he took it. "Only the best."

He opened his mouth and took a massive bite, closing his eyes as he slowly chewed. I could hear a growling moan of intense pleasure rise in his chest as he leaned back in his seat to savor it. The look of complete satisfaction on his face as he swallowed then took a gulp of beer gave me goosebumps. I had to look away for fear he'd see me blushing.

"Delicious." He whispered, his already deep voice dropping an octave before he finally opened his eyes and smiled. "Thank you."

I reminded myself several times I was there to help him with his traumas before I trusted myself to speak. "So, you up for a really dumb comedy?"

Once again, he graced me with an honest smile that made my toes curl. "Sure."

We settled in and began watching a Laurel and Hardy movie while we nursed our beers and finished off the hotdogs. Every so often, I'd catch him glance in my direction, but the conversation was minimal. Still, I could tell he was relaxing and, by the time the second movie was half over, I noticed him taking long blinks for adjusting into a more comfortable position.

 _It'd be great if he got so comfortable he fell asleep_ , I thought as I began to clean up our mess. _That'd show some serious trust._

"Let me help," he said when he noticed what I was doing.

"Sit down and relax, Bucky," I playfully scolded as I went into the kitchenette and washed up. "I got this."

"But," he started to argue.

"No but's." I smiled over at him. "You're going to miss the best part."

He looked unsure for only a moment before easing back down and continuing as he had before.

I studied him while I quietly worked, careful not to be obvious in my observation. Sitting there chuckling softly to the slapstick comedy, he looked so at peace. I knew this was the first time in a long time he wasn't fighting the internal war that raged within him.

When I rejoined him on the sofa, I could finally imagine what he'd been like before violence and hatred had stripped him of his innocence. Behind his stormy eyes, I could almost see the man whose heart was as gentle as his smile. I prayed I'd be able to help him find that man again but as I turned to watch the movie with him, I felt like I already had.

I don't know when I dozed off, but I opened my eyes to see Bucky slumped over fast asleep next to me. His hard face was relaxed as he rested it against his hand while his dark hair draped over his eyes like a curtain begging to be brushed aside.

 _Ohmigod!_ I gushed mentally. _He actually fell asleep._

Against my better judgment, I let my fingertips glide over his forehead to move the rogue locks covering his face. His skin was warm and just slightly rough so that I couldn't help but trail my hand down to his cheek. I didn't notice his hand until it caught my wrist like a steel trap. Suddenly, he yanked me into his lap painfully.

"Bucky!" I yelled, realizing my mistake too late. His hand released my wrist only to dart to my throat and clamp down. "Bucky!"

His eyes burst open suddenly but were blank as he mumbled something that sounded like Russian. His fingers dug into my neck and slowly began to squeeze.

"Bucky, wake up!" I managed to force out as the lack of oxygen started to make me lightheaded.

When he finally woke just seconds later, there was a look of horror when he relaxed his was choking me. Releasing me and jumping to his feet at the same time, I hit the floor with a thud.

"Destiny, I…" He stuttered as he tried to acclimate himself to the realization of what'd happened. "I didn't mean… I was… God!"

I stood up and forced a smile, trying to calm him down. "It's okay. It was an accident. No harm done."

He shook his head and I thought I almost saw a tear in his eyes. "No. Don't. I need to go. You're not safe with me."

Bucky, wait." I caught his arm as he started to leave. "It's really okay. It was my fault anyway. I shouldn't have touched you when you were sleeping. I'm sorry."

He turned to me, confused. "You… You touched me?"

I nodded, the guilt cutting me to the core. "I'm sorry."

He scanned my face, searching for a reason. Finally, he yanked his arm away. "I have to go."

Before I could argue, he was already out the door. I flopped down on the sofa and cursed myself for being so stupid. All the progress from the day had disappeared and I was to blame. I'd violated his trust and ruined the foundation we'd been working to build.

"Ruth," I called as I made my way to the bedroom. "Pull up Sargent Barnes' file and read it aloud."

"Any specific section, Ms. Hunt?" she asked.

"The beginning," I answered as I stripped and got into the shower. "We're starting from scratch."


	4. Chapter 4

"Good morning, Ms. Hunt," Ruth announced.

I buried my face in the pillow, annoyed by the perkiness of the AI. "Go away."

"I'm afraid not, Ms. Hunt. You left instructions to wake you as soon as Sargent Barnes exited his home. External sensors indicate he's outside right now."

I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. "All right. I'm up. Time for round two."

I quickly showered and dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top before grabbing a breakfast bar and heading outside.

Bucky was baling hay out of a two-wheel cart that was surrounded by several eager looking goats. Even with only one arm, he still managed to impressively maneuver himself so that his hungry guests were all properly fed. Again, I had to admire how adaptive he was. He seemed to be able to do anything he set his mind to.

"Nice herd you got there," I called pleasantly as I strolled in his direction, careful not to come between the goats and their food.

He paused long enough to give me an annoyed glance. "What do you want?"

"Well, I was thinking about asking you to breakfast, but I don't know where any good diners are." I stopped on the opposite side of the cart and grinned. "Any suggestions?"

"Try New Jersey," he grumbled.

I lowered my eyes. "I deserve that. I'm really sorry about last night."

He jammed his pitchfork deep in the ground. "I could've killed you."

I nodded. "I know."

"And you still wanna try and fix me?"

"Yes." I eased around the cart. "But I admit when I mess up. I said I'd let you take the lead here and I violated your trust. But I can promise you it won't happen again."

"You're damn right." He looked over at me finally, his eyes hard and cold. "Because we're done."

I met his stare. "Why?"

"Because I'm still a danger to people." He sighed. "There's no helping me."

I laughed. "You're kidding right?"

He glared at me. "You should leave before you get hurt."

I rolled my eyes. "You think you're the first man to try and kill me? Please. I've been mangled a lot worse than a couple of bruises on my neck."

He shook his head dismissingly. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about this." I walked up to him and shoved my forearm in front of him, revealing the jagged scar running from wrist to elbow. "See that scar? It's from a lovely little British grandmother who had a psychotic break. Not impressed with that one? There's a hole just above my left breast where a meth-head thought it'd be fun to stab me. Oh! And those aren't weird freckles around my kneecap. That's where they had to put the screws in after a drunk shoved me off a second story balcony. That was fun.

"But you wanna know my favorite one? The one that really holds a special place in my heart? It's where they had to staple my head back together after my ex-husband beat the crap out of me. That's my favorite because it reminds me every day that I'm worth fighting for. And so are you, Bucky Barnes."

"How do you know?" He asked, his eyes never leaving the scar.

"Because I know." I took a chance and reached out for his hand. Taking it in mine, I smiled when our eyes finally met. "And if you're willing to work with me, I'll prove it. You just got to give me another chance. Can you trust me?"

He stared at me, his eyes narrowed but not in anger. I could tell from his furrowed brow he was trying to understand something. Maybe he was confused why I'd told him about my scars or maybe he was wondering if I was just plain crazy. Whatever he was thinking, it brought a smile to his face at last.

"Can we start over?" He asked softly.

I nodded. "It's your call. I was the one that messed up. But if you're willing to let me in and not be scared of the what if's, I'd be happy to."

He looked at me with a determination I'd never seen before. "I'd like that, Des. I really would."

I grinned. "Me too."

After the goats were fed, he went into his hut to wash up while I began setting up for our first session. Gathering the necessary supplies, I quickly worked on rearranging the living room to create a large space in the middle for us to stand. I was in the process of trying to move the sofa when he knocked.

"We're closed for remodeling," I teased as I continued trying to relocate the shockingly heavy piece of furniture. "Move, damn you."

He chuckled as he came inside. "Can I give you a hand?"

I flopped down on the floor and waved at it. "Be my guest."

Stepping up, he easily moved it to the furthest wall with a smug sneer I wanted to hate.

"If I ever need help moving, I know who to call." I got up and walked over to the console. Retrieving the four circular metal tabs that would monitor his vital signs and gather the information to project his memories, I returned to him and held them out for him to inspect. "You sure you're ready?"

"What are those for?"

"They'll monitor you while the computer creates a virtual reality based on the memories you allow it to access," I explained. "They're non-invasive, but you still have to attach two to your head and the other two to your chest. Once you're ready, the system will access your hippocampus and project the memory you're thinking about. We can pause it and discuss it or just run through it. Whatever you're comfortable with."

"You'll be here the whole time?" His eyes met mine again, begging for so much reassurance I had to ball my fist to keep from touching him. "Are you sure?"

"Bucky, there's nothing in your head I haven't seen before."

He huffed. "I doubt that."

"You'd be surprised. I've seen all the _Saw_ movies." I smiled. "Trust me. It'll be all right. I promise."

He swallowed but finally nodded. As I started to hand over the sensors, he asked, "Could you… put them on?" When I hesitated, he added, "Please?"

Our eyes locked as he lowered the wrap from his chest and let it fall to the floor. Willing my hands not to shake, I broke our stare to look at the beautifully sculpted chest so I could apply the sensors. As I pressed down, he inhaled sharply, causing me to flinch.

"Your hands are warm, Des," he whispered, a tiny smile playing in the corner of his lips.

I rolled my eyes as I applied the remaining ones to his temples. "Yeah well, I think this Stark tech is radioactive or something. Burned the hell out of me the first time I used it so if you sprout another head, don't blame me."

"Maybe he'd be able to convince you I'm not worth saving," He teased with a little wink. "Get you to get outta here."

"Ready to get rid of me already, Mr. Barnes," I shot back. "Ruth, initiate alpha protocol level one. Barnes, James."

"Yes, Ms. Hunt."

"We'll start with something simple," I explained, stepping back. "Think of your first memory. Your childhood, maybe a first friend. Just something simple and maybe happy."

He closed his eyes. The console emitted a high-pitched whirl as the projector slowly began transforming my living room into a poorly lit laboratory. In the lab was a short man with red hair and glasses standing next to a table where a broken and bloodied Bucky lay.

I inhaled deeply as I witnessed the nightmarish roots of the Winter Soldier taking form. My heart pounded as I stepped closer to the table to see the face of the man who'd become the monster.

"This is my first memory," the real Bucky said as he came to stand beside me. "This what you meant by happy?"

I shook my head. "Not exactly, but I guess this is where we start."

Over the next several hours, we walked through the horrors of the Winter Soldier. The assassinations, the violence, and the complete lack of humanity were all there in vivid detail. Each one was so painful in their calculation and resolve that I fought myself from breaking down, knowing that any sign of weakness of my part would be his excuse to pull away again.

It seemed like we'd never find anything redeeming for me to work with when we finally found ourselves in Cuba during the height of the Cold War. The Winter Soldier was on the rooftop looking down at an ambassador from some unknown country. His hand was on the trigger just as a car pulled up in front of the distinguished man and a little girl jumped out and ran into his open arms.

"Ruth, pause the memory," I said, noticing what had been missing in all the prior memories.

"No, keep going," Bucky ordered.

"Ignore him, Ruth." I walked over to the Winter Soldier and stared at him. "Why are we here, Bucky?"

He shrugged. "You wanted to see my memories."

"But why this one? Why show me this specific memory?"

Again, he just shrugged. "I don't know. It's just something I remembered."

"Come on, Barnes," I snapped, getting in his face for the first time. "You've been sharing all the Winter Soldier's greatest hits thus far. Who cares about this guy? He's just some piss ant from some third world country. Why show off this trophy? You killed way more important people than him. Why are we here?"

He glared at me as he snarled, "I don't know."

"Ruth, enhance the Winter Soldier's trigger hand and magnify to my height." As the image expanded, I stood beside his enlarged finger, which was no longer on the trigger. "You didn't kill him, did you?"

His eyes widened in shock. "No."

"Why?"

"The kid," he mumbled, his voice breaking as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "I didn't think she deserved to see her dad die."

"Even at your worst, you were still a good person." I smiled. "It's just who you are. That's why you're worth helping. Cause you really are a good guy."

He crumbled to the floor, his entire body shaking as he silently sobbed. I knelt beside him until I couldn't stand the pain emanating from him. Carefully, I placed one arm around his shoulders then the other until I was holding his grief riddled body against me.

"It's okay," I cooed, stroking his hair. "Just let it out. You earned it."

He wrapped his arm around me as he buried his face in my chest. The warm tears fell on my skin, washing away the pain he felt as well as mine. I bit my lip to keep from crying with him. After several minutes, he looked up at me and gave a weak smile.

"Thank you, Destiny," he whispered as he leaned his forehead against my neck and let out a contented sigh. "Thank you."

"Hey. This is all you, buddy." I smiled as I started to pull away. "I didn't do anything except give you hell."

"Don't." His arm tightened around my waist. "Don't let go yet."

"Bucky, we shouldn't get too familiar," I warned both him and myself. "I don't want to be a crutch."

"I get it." Still, he held on. "It's just been a while since anyone touched me. Like this anyway. I guess I forgot what it was like to be close to another person."

"You can always touch yourself." Realizing how it sounded, we laughed. "I mean, you can lean on your inner strength too."

"I haven't done that in a long time." He grinned. "Or the other one."

"I don't wanna know." I playfully shoved him and got up. "Come on. Fix my living room and I'll make us some popcorn. We'll watch a movie before you go."

He nodded and started while I went to cook. Silently, I sent up a prayer of thanks that he didn't feel my heart beating when he held me close.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the weeks following, we fell into something of a comfortable routine. We'd do our personal work in the mornings, him on his responsibilities to the village and me on the research and modifications to the equipment, then meet at my quarters for what he called treatment. Afterward, if the session wasn't too taxing on him, we'd have a light dinner together and watch a movie before retiring to our respective beds.

Of course, there were occasional deviations to our days, especially when he experienced a difficult memory. He would cling to me sometimes, gripping me tightly while he fought not to break down or just simply crumble in my arms. When he recovered from his meltdowns, he'd tell me how much I needed to leave then abruptly disappear for a day or two after. I'd continue to work and fill my free hour until he came back, accepting that his rejection was par the course. Just like he needed me to push him sometimes, he also needed me to be there when he was ready to start again.

"I was wondering if you'd finally leave this time," he said when he returned from one of his walkabouts to find me sitting by the lake fishing. "I'm sorry, Des."

"No big. I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be." He stood over me and watched the red and white bobber drift on the water. "You deserve to be treated better than that. It won't happen again. I promise."

"So you're not asking me to leave again?" I asked, lifting my line out of the water so I could focus on it rather than him.

"No. I want you to stay."

I leaned back and smiled. "Good because me and the fish had a meeting and they said they'd miss me if I left."

"They're not the only ones." He mumbled as he offered me his hand. "Thanks for sticking around."

I shrugged. "Well, I didn't have any plans away."

He chuckled as I took the offered hand and was pulled to my feet. Standing so close to him I could smell his distinct scent. It reminded me of open fields, being held close and puppy's breath. I savored the aroma before reminding myself I had no business savoring any part of him.

"What's wrong?" His hand tightened around mine, also reminding me that I shouldn't be holding his hand.

I smiled as I wrinkled my nose. "You need a bath."

He grinned. "Think so?"

"God yes." I stepped back as his hand slid up his massive chest to the top of his wrap and slowly tugged it free. My eyes widened as it fell. "What are you doing?"

"Taking a bath." His grin became more devilish as he whispered in a low, husky tone. "Wanna join me?"

I swallowed and shook my head. "In the lake? Of course not."

He closed the miniscule distance between us. "Why not?"

"I – I," I stuttered, my heart racing suddenly. "I can't swim."

"You don't have to, doll." He placed his hand on my hip. "Just put your arms around me and don't let go."

 _Oh hell_ , I thought as he encircled my waist with his arm before throwing us both in. The shock of the chilly water caused me to gasp only seconds before my head dipped under. Thankfully, he yanked us to the surface before I could suck down a mouthful of water, but his face was only inches from mine as he held me close and treaded water with only his powerful legs.

"I hate you," I hissed, pressing one hand against his chest to put some distance between us while the other snaked around his neck to keep myself from drowning.

He laughed. "Still wanna stay?"

"What I wanna do is kick your ass." I huffed. "Can we get back on solid ground, please?"

"Not yet." His fingers traced the waistband of my shorts. "Anybody ever tell you you're beautiful wet?"

I rolled my eyes. "All the time. I'm a regular Disney princess of the drown rats."

"You are beautiful, Des." He slipped his hand up the back of my shirt and stroked my back. "The most beautiful woman I've ever met."

"Bucky, don't," I pleaded. "What you're feeling right now isn't real. It's just gratitude; not real attraction."

"Feels real to me." He eased his hand further up until his fingertips grazed the bottom of my bra.

"I swear it's not." I cursed myself for not setting clearer boundaries from the beginning and for the way his touch stole my common sense. "We need to stop."

"Do you want me to stop?" He leaned forward and brushed his lips against my forehead. "I will if you tell me to."

Before I could answer, a voice I hadn't heard in months called out, "Hey, Des. You drowning out there?"

I turned to see the smiling face of one of my dearest friends, Sam Wilson. Thankful for the interruption, I yelled back, "Sam!"

"We're not done yet," Bucky whispered as he took us back to shore.

Ignoring him, I ran out of the water and into Sam's open arms, laughing as he held me tight even though I was dripping wet.

"God, Sam. It's so good to see you." I tilted my head, confused. "Wait. What are you doing in Wakanda?"

"Me? What are you doing here? Last I heard, you were still in D.C. beating up on congresspeople to get that veterans mental health bill passed."  
I shrugged. "Yeah well, I got tapped by King T'Challa himself to help with a project after he heard about my work with that bootleg Stark tech you got me." Noticing the tall blonde standing just behind him, I playfully punched him in the arm. "Shame on you for being so rude, Sam Wilson. Introduce me to your shy friend."

Destiny Hunt, meet Steve Rogers." Sam grinned. "And before you ask, yeah. That Steve Rogers."

Ohmigod." I extended my hand excitedly. "Mr – I mean, Captain Rogers, It's an honor to meet you. I'm a huge fan."

With a forced smile, he shook it. "Ma'am."

Realizing I was standing in front of Captain America soaked to the bone, I blushed. "I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess. I need to get changed, but y'all are more than welcome to come inside and relax. I'd love to make y'all dinner or something."

"Thanks for the offer, but we're really just here to see Bucky," the Captain said.

I paused, feeling a little disheartened I wouldn't have a chance to catch up with Sam or meet one of my heroes. "Oh. No problem. Okay. I'll just… I'll go."

"Steve just means we'll be a few minutes," Bucky said when he joined us. "They'd love to stay for dinner. Wouldn't you?"

Sam shrugged. "It's been a while since I had a homecooked meal and if Des is cooking, I'm eating."

"Fine," Steve said after exchanging looks with Bucky. "We'd be happy to. Thank you."

"We'll be there shortly, doll," Bucky said.

I was practically beaming as I ran inside to shower and get dressed so I could entertain my friend and hero. As I finished up, I considered the nickname Bucky had used twice already.

 _I need to nip this in the bud_ , I thought as I joined them. _For both our sakes._


	6. Chapter 6

I tried not to feel a tremendous amount of pride as I watched Bucky talking and laughing with his oldest friend, but I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I couldn't believe that just a few weeks prior he hardly spoke – let alone smiled – when he was around other people. Seeing him with someone from outside, even if it was an old friend, I realized the man I'd seen the first night was beginning to disappear and was being replaced by the real James "Bucky" Barnes I knew was hidden.

"So, Des," Sam said after we adjourned to the living room to nurse our beers. "How long have you been here?"

I pretended to think. "Let's see, I got here on a Thursday and it's Tuesday so about seven weeks."

"Eight," Bucky corrected, grinning behind his bottle before taking a quick drink.

"Seems a lot shorter." I caught his eye and we shared a smile. "Then again, it feels like I've always been here."

"What are your plans after you leave?" Steve, who was the only one of us not enjoying a drink, asked.

"I don't know yet." I looked down at the floor, not wanting Bucky to see the sadness the thought of my leaving caused. "Wakanda's kind of grown on me, but there's not much call for my services here. Guess I'll figure it out when the time comes."

"You could just stay," Bucky blurted out, surprising us all. He quickly lowered his eyes as his cheeks reddened. "I'm sure King T'Challa and Shuri would be happy to help you settle here. If you wanted to, I mean."

"It's a thought." I stood up and stretched, pretending to be more tired than I was. "Well, gents, I think I'll turn in. Since y'all are staying the night, your welcome to fight over the sofa. There are blankets inside the bottom drawer of the coffee table. Night."

I waved as they all said good night before ducking into my room and closing the door. Once I was comfortability alone, I giggled. While my rational mind told me Bucky was in no place to even consider romantically, I was flattered he'd shown an interest in me. A handsome, kind man like him would be a catch for any woman let alone one like me.

Still, he was a man exorcizing his demons and I was only there to ease him through the process. I wouldn't take advantage of his weakened state just to feed my low self-esteem. We both deserved better than that.

As I drifted off to sleep to the sound of muffled conversation and laughter, I reminded myself that Bucky would make some woman very happy one day.

 _That bitch better treat him right._

When I got up the next morning, the sky was just beginning to turn gray as I got dressed. Silently making my way out of my quarters, I smiled when I saw Sam sprawled out across the sofa sound asleep.

Alone in the semi-darkness, I went to sit beside the lake for my morning meditation. It was the only time of day I relaxed and let my empathic ability free. As soon as I exhaled, I was greeted by a crashing wave of emotions that washed over me and flowed through me in an uncensored chaotic mass of feelings. I felt everything, raw and unfettered, all at once until I couldn't tell where I ended and the world began. Wrapped in the endless commotion of a million feelings I felt the completeness of being an empath and was finally at peace.

"Good morning, Des," I heard Steve say as he eased up behind me.

Unable to close myself off quickly enough, I felt the anticipation of seeing me and the pleasure of being alone with me. Not that he enjoyed being around me; the distrust of me was only held at bay by an underlying concern for his friend. I could make out Bucky as he closed the distance between us and knew he had come to make sure I understood he wouldn't allow me to be another damaging force. He was going to stop me no matter what.

"Bucky's a good man, Steve," I said before he could begin his speech. "And yes, I find him attractive. But I'm only here to help him work through his issues. I'm not going to take advantage of him."

"Sam said you were a mind reader."

I laughed. "I'm an empath, not a mind reader. I pick up on the emotions of others. Sometimes those emotions are connected to something tangible like a name or a place, but I don't know what people are actually thinking."

He sat down beside me. "So what am I feeling now?"

"You're worried that I'll hurt Bucky by using him. You're worried that his mental state makes him an easy target for me." I sighed, saddened by the most pronounced emotion. "You feel like I'm not good enough for him because I'm not pretty or thin enough."

"It's not personal. Bucky's my best friend."

"And he deserves someone who doesn't look like me." I felt years of anger welling up inside. "You feel like he should be with someone beautiful like your pretty little blonde."

"Wait. I never-"

I cut him off. "You didn't have to. I can feel it. You look at me and instantly feel I'm not good enough for him."

"Destiny, I didn't-"

"Didn't what? Didn't think some fat chick should be cozied up to your bestie? Jesus, Steve. I saw you before you became Captain America. A ninety-pound little shit women wouldn't give the time of day to. How dare you pass judgment on me?"

"I wasn't-"

I stood up and jammed my finger in his face. "Let me tell you one damn thing, Mister All-American, every time I look in the mirror I see who I am the same as you. For years, I let people stomp me into the ground because I wasn't the thinnest or the prettiest. Instead of telling those people off, I swallowed their bullshit. But instead of eating a handful of pills or a bullet, I ate a donut. And I'm glad I did because it made me stronger and eventually those idiots didn't matter because what they – y'all – saw as flaws helped me help others. And I'm damn proud of that. So you can take your standards and your preconceived notions and shove them right up your ass because I know I'm more than good enough. I'm amazing."

"I'm sorry." Wide-eyed and in shock, he scrambled to his feet. "You're right. I shouldn't have judged your intentions toward Bucky. I didn't mean to assume you were toying with him. It's just the way he looks at you and smiles when he talks about you, I just thought…" He trailed off. "I didn't think you were his type."

I rolled my eyes. "First off, I'm not his type or anybody else's for that matter. I'm my own person. Secondly, I'm his friend. That's all. Lastly, you really are the world's biggest idiot."

I stormed back into my quarters before he could say another word. Rushing passed Sam as he was getting up, I turned away so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes, but he could still tell I was upset.

"Des, you okay?" He called after me.

"Yeah. Just need a shower." I replied before disappearing into my room.

Falling down face first on my bed, I sobbed softly. I wasn't upset about how Steve felt. His opinion didn't matter to me. I was upset because I felt the same way. I wasn't good enough for Bucky and never would be.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, gorgeous," Bucky called as he came in.

I rolled my eyes but didn't look away from the console as I entered new data about our last session. "We talked about this, Bucky. It's not proper for you to call me by pet names. Des or Destiny is fine."

"I know." Even though I couldn't see him, I could hear him as he walked toward me. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." I finally turned around to find him standing only a few inches from me. Plastering on a fake smile, I asked, "What's up?"

He looked directly into my eyes. "Are we okay?"

"Of course." I forged shock at his question. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Since Steve and Sam left you've been distant. I just wanted to make sure I didn't mess up somehow. I know I came on a little strong at the lake. I just… I think you're amazing, Des, and I wanted you to know."

"And I appreciate you feel that way. I really do. But I don't want you to confuse trusting me with attraction. I'm only here to help you." I forced another smile. "We're friends, but that's it. That's all our relationship can ever be."

When he nodded, I returned to my work, but my mind was so far from what I was doing. I regretted having to put so much distance between us, but after my conversation with Steve, I knew it was the right decision. Bucky and I were too damaged to even consider relationships with anyone, let alone each other. He had physical and emotional scars only another person who'd been through hell could understand. Bringing those two histories together could end either very badly or in perfect harmony. Life experience had taught me that it was more likely the former than the latter.

Besides, he was super-hot and I was not. Once he was confident enough to put himself out there, he'd have his pick of any woman he wanted. Someone like me would be a friend at best and, at worst, just forgotten.

Lost in my thoughts, I jumped when I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"That first night," he began, his voice barely a whisper. "When I choked you and you told me it was because you touched me, I didn't panic because of what I'd done. I was scared I'd blown my chance to get close to you."

"Bucky," I started.

"And every time I left, it wasn't because of the memories. It was because when I had you holding me, I wanted to kiss you. I was mad because I didn't. That's what I was gonna do in the lake. What I wanna do right now."

I turned around, determined to end this conversation and dispel any more nonsense once and for all. I couldn't let him believe we'd ever have anything other than close friendship. It just wasn't possible, and we couldn't entertain the idea it was.

However, when I opened my mouth, he pressed his lips roughly to mine. The weight of his kiss was startling but nowhere near unappealing. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck to draw him deeper. In response, he pulled me to my feet and pressed me against him. The heat from his body radiated through our clothes, awakening the desire I'd fought so hard to avoid. I moved my hand from his neck to stroke his rough cheek, causing him to groan into my mouth. The rumbling vibration sent a shudder through me that shook me from the inside out.

"You taste better than I imagined." He said when he finally pulled back. Still, he rested his forehead against mine as he smiled. "I can't wait to do it again."

"This isn't right," I protested weakly, still clinging to him. "I don't want to confuse you."

His smile only widened. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life, doll."

As he kissed me a second time, he leaned closer until I was almost sitting on top of the console. The tip of his tongue tapped against my lower lips, politely asking for entrance. When I parted them, it snaked inside and aggressively stroked mine. I whimpered at the sensation, causing him to dive deeper inside. His hand slid from my waist up to my back before pulling me flush against his body. Because of the height difference and the loose-fitting military trousers he wore, I could feel his desire building until it was firmly pressed against my stomach. The sudden realization of what might happen brought me to my senses somewhat and I started to pull away.

"Bucky." I tried to say his name to get his attention, but it only came out as a moan as he moved from my lips down my neck in a trail of kisses. "Please, Bucky. We need to stop. I… I can't do this."

He lifted his face to look at me. His eyes were dark with need, but he eased back slowly to give us space to finally catch our breath. Still, he didn't take his hand off me as he waited.

"I'm sorry, Des." He lowered his eyes, clearly ashamed. "I don't want to come on too strong. If you don't feel the same way I do-"

I took his face in my hands. "I think it's pretty obvious I'm very attracted to you, Bucky. But I want to make sure we're not rushing into something we're not ready for. Let's stop and breathe before we do something we'll regret later."

He nodded, an easy smile slipping across his lips. "All right, Des. We'll take things slow. Whatever you need."

"Thank you." Relieved he was willing to let me take the lead, I smiled.

"Hey. A great girl's worth waiting for." He playfully kissed my forehead. "And you're the best."

"You're not too bad yourself, big guy." I left the warmth of his embrace and made my way to the kitchenette. Grabbing a bottle of water from the mini-fridge, I chugged down half of it before I allowed myself to speak again. "Why don't we cancel today's session? Tomorrow we'll come back fresh and focused."

"Okay." He joined me in the kitchenette then continued, "But I want to make sure you know I'm serious. I'm not just attracted to you because you saved me. I've wanted you since the day I laid eyes on you. You're an amazing woman, Destiny Hunt, and I'm not gonna let you get away without showing you how much you mean to me."

I swear, his proclamation alone was enough to make me want to jump into his arm again, but I kept my wits about me and just rolled my eyes. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

"Never have and never will again." He wrapped his hand around my own which was still holding the bottle. Slowly, he lifted it to his lips and drained the remaining water. "Until I can have your lips again, I'll make due."

"Go home, Bucky," I ordered before my common sense abandoned me and I dragged him into the bedroom. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Can't wait." He winked. "Bye, Des."

Once he was gone, I let out of gush of breath I didn't realize I was holding. Heading to my bedroom, I shouted, "Ruth, start the shower, but make it ice cold."

"Of course, Ms. Hunt," she responded in a tone I could've sworn sounded smug.

"And get Shuri on the phone when I get out. We need some girl talk stat."

After my shower, I updated Shuri on the situation, careful not to leave out a single detail for fear it might be vital in finding a solution. When I was finished, I waited in silence as she considered it.

"So he has feelings for you?" She asked.

"Is attracted to me," I corrected.

"What's the difference?"

"I can sleep with someone I'm attracted to, but I want to wake up to someone I have feelings for."

"So sleep with him and see if you want to wake up beside him," she said in her usual matter-of-fact manner. "Problem solved."

I groaned. "It's not that simple. I'm more like a doctor to him than a girlfriend. Besides, I feel like I'm violating some kind of taboo by even considering him this way. I mean, isn't my job to be like a therapist for him?"

"Just like a white girl to make everything so complicated," She replied, clearly annoyed. "You're not his doctor and you're not his therapist. You're not even here because he asked for your help. You've become his friend and confidant. If it's meant to be something more, you should explore it."

I wrapped my arms around myself to try and ease my mind. "But what if it ruins our friendship?"

"Do you really think it will?"

I thought about it. Bucky and I faced some of the most painful aspects of his life and shared torment few people had ever experienced. I'd held him while he cried and pushed him when he wanted to give up. In return, he'd helped me to remember how to open myself up and find honest joy again. No matter what happened, we'd built our friendship to be one that would survive a lifetime.

"No. I don't think it will."

"Then stop being stupid and try it." She laughed. "And make sure you tell me all the juicy details afterwards."

"Please. You're probably getting more action than I ever have, you sexy princess, you," I teased.

"When you're the sister of the king, you don't get to swipe right." She laughed. "But if you're just wanting to hook up, there are a few clubs here in the capital I can show you."

I grinned. "Have a Wakandan man make me forget about my American troubles? That's not a bad idea."

"So you'll come?" She asked excitedly.

"No, but I do need to resupply. How about we meet sometime tomorrow? You can come pick me up."

"All right, but before you completely dismiss White Wolf's advances, remember that he sees something in you. Maybe you should try seeing what it is. Good night, my friend."

After we disconnected, I walked over to the full-length mirror beside the shower and took a long look at myself. In the low-cut camisole and pajama shorts, I could see all my flaws: the double chin, the thick arms that sagged a little when I raised them, the dimple in my breast from being stabbed surrounded by stretch marks, the too big belly, the non-existent thigh gap. It was all there in vivid color, reminding me I wasn't even close to the standard of beauty society had deemed worthy.

Then I noticed my eyes. They were perfectly almond shaped surrounded by lush black lashes other women would kill for. My hair, which fell all the way down to my breasts, shined like a silky wave of rich dark ale pouring over me in soft waves. My lips were full and naturally formed a perfect bow with a pink tint that always looked like I'd just been kissed.

"He sees something in me," I said softly. "Maybe if he told me what it was, I would see it too."

Squaring my shoulders, I turned on my heals and headed for the door.


	8. Chapter 8

I lost my nerve the minute I was outside his hut. Standing there in my skimpy outfit, I remembered I was the one who'd sent him home. I was the one who'd told him we needed to step back and that his feelings for me couldn't be real. What was I thinking, going to see him and what? I still didn't even know why I was there. Was I just going to walk in and change the whole dynamic of our relationship and possibly even ruin the outstanding friendship we had? For what? Did I intend to fall into his arms and confess that I'd wanted him from the moment I saw him too?

"You know, I can hear you out there," he called from inside his hut, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. "Just come in already."

Embarrassed by being caught and not wanting to look stupid by running, I took a deep breath and went inside to face my future.

Having never been in his hut, I was surprised by how cozy it was. I'd expected something akin to what I'd seen in movies, with a single bedroll and maybe some cooking supplies over a fire. The bedroll and utensils were there, but there was also a small outdoor stove set atop an average round table flanked by a couple of chairs. There was also a very basic wooden desk with a laptop and several books along with three solar-powered lamps that cast a soft glow throughout the open living area.

"Nice man-cave," I teased, trying to calm my nerves by using my ever-ready sense of humor.

He smiled as he gestured to a chair across from the one he was seated at. "Nice shorts."

I hugged myself as I shook my head, preferring to stay close to the door. "So, I was thinking about earlier. You know, the kissing and making out and stuff."

He nodded. "Me too."

"Cool. Cool." He seemed so far away in the few feet between us. I wanted to close the distance but couldn't will myself to move beyond the wall next to the door. "Glad we're on the same page. Why don't we talk about what you're thinking?"

He got up from his chair and took a step toward me. "I don't wanna talk."

"Oh. Okay." _Damn him_ , I thought as I grasped for conversation. "I just thought it'd help. You know, you say what you're thinking. I say what I'm thinking. Just get it out there, you know?"

He took another step closer, that damned smile faintly curving the corners of his mouth. "What's on yours?"

"Me? Oh, you know." I shrugged. "I was just concerned that you'd be worried about what happened and start to withdraw if you were uncomfortable and I wanted to make sure you knew that what happened doesn't change our relationship. You've come so far and I don't want you to worry needlessly. We're still good. We're great, actually. So don't worry, okay?"

He took the final step toward me. He was so close I could almost feel the heat from his skin. My breath hitched as I looked up to see those smoldering eyes on me again.

"I wasn't worried about any of that." He licked his lower lip. "I was thinking trying to figure out how to get you to let me kiss you again. The bottle just didn't cut it."

I bit my lip, trying to figure out what to say next, but the predatory expression he wore left me speechless.

"I know we said we'd take it slow," he growled as his fingertips traced my arm. "But when you do that, it makes me crazy."

"This whole situation is crazy," I whispered, staring at his oh-so-kissable lips. "We're both a mess."

"I know." He finally let himself smile. "That's why we're perfect for each other."

My fingers moved of their own accord, coming to rest on his cheek. "What do you see in me?"

"What do you mean? Des, you're beautiful."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not. I'm just not."

"Yes, you are." He leaned forward, pressing me against the wall with his body. "And I'm gonna show you right now if you'll let me."

I didn't resist as he leaned down for what I thought was a kiss, but his mouth only stopped at my forehead while he nestled his nose in my hair and inhaled deeply.

"Your hair," he whispered. "It always smells like flowers."

"I wash it regularly," I tried to joke.

"That's probably why it's so soft." He lowered his lips to my eyelids, placing tiny kisses on each. "And your eyes are so expressive."

"Guess I shouldn't play poker, huh?"

He chuckled before kissing the tip of my nose. "You have the cutest little button nose. It's like a baby doll's. But those lips-" He hovered over them. "They're so soft and juicy, I just wanna eat them up."

"Shut up and kiss me, Bucky," I ordered as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me.

His mouth enveloped mine, stealing away any sense of logic or reason I had left. I parted my lips and felt his tongue enter first carefully, then hungrily, as he pulled me away from the wall and turned us around. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he eased us toward his sleeping mat. My heart skipped a beat when my heel connected with the edge, but I didn't resist as he pulled me down beside him on it. Maneuvering me down on my back, he laid on his side so his hands could freely explore while we continued kissing. Slowly, he leaned back and looked into my eyes.

"I need to tell you something," he said in a reluctant whisper. "It's been… It's been a long time since…"

I smiled and stroked his cheek. "Yeah. Me too."

"I just don't want to-" He sighed. "I thought I should tell you so you won't be… disappointed if I'm a little… I just don't want to let you down."

I couldn't help but giggle. His gentle honesty was enough to make sure I was satisfied already. "There's no way you could, Bucky, but if you're not ready."

"Oh, I'm ready, doll." He shot a quick glance down then back up with a wicked grin. "I've been ready all day."

"Then shut up and make love to me."

"You like telling me to shut up, don't you?" He stroked my cheek before nipping my lower lip. "You're going to regret that one of these days."

"Are we gonna talk?" I laid back again, pulling him down with me. "Or are we gonna make some bad decisions?"

He laughed as he kissed me again, his hand sliding down my face as it glided along my throat before settling on my chest. His hand slightly trembled as he cupped my breast. In response, I moaned and leaned into his touch as he ran his thumb across the camisole clad nipple. It sprang to life, reveling in his calloused caress.

"You make me wish I had two hands again, doll," he teased as he followed the path his hand had made with his lips.

"You're doing just fine with the one," I said only seconds before he lowered my top and latched on eagerly; sucking in unabashed slurps before grazing the hyper-sensitive peak with his teeth. "Jesus, Bucky."

He only chuckled as his hand moved down my stomach and into the waistband of my shorts. My lower regions pulsed with anticipation as he slowly traced the outer lips through my clothes before slipping inside the leg of my shorts and inserting a finger inside.

My partly opened legs spread of their own accord, allowing him complete access. As he stroked me, he slowing worked each finger inside one at a time while his thumb continued to press tension against my needy center. He worked slowly, savaging my body with painfully slow movements in and out until he grazed my most responsive spot.

"Bucky," I whimpered, my hips rising from the mat to meet his strokes. "Please."

"Not yet, gorgeous," he responded, increasing his tempo. "I wanna take care of you first."

Already riding the edge, I dug my fingers into his hair and pulled his mouth to mine for a frantic kiss. The crush of his lips sent me over the edge, sending my body into mind emptying spasms that nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Before the climax subsided, he removed his hand and ripped away my shorts. He quickly pulled his pants open, cursing under his breath when he fumbled with a button. Finally aligning his body to mine, he kissed me before driving his entire length into me.

"Dammit, doll," he groaned, pushing further into me with each thrust. "I ain't gonna hold out long."

"Me neither," I managed through pants as I felt myself building up again. "Don't stop."

He abandoned all pretense of control and stabbed himself deeper and deeper until he erupted inside me. The feeling of his explosion sent me over the edge for a second time. I shook for several seconds after he collapsed on top of me with a contented sigh.

For several minutes, we laid there with his firm body on top of me while I stroked his hair, taking time to catch our breath.

"If that's what you consider bad," I said finally. "Good is probably going to kill me."

He chuckled as he rolled off me and pulled me close. "I don't know, gorgeous. You're amazing, but there's always room for improvement for me. You know what they say: practice makes perfect."

"Well, if you're looking for a workout partner, I'm your girl."

He laughed again. "I'll hold you to it."

Laying there next to him with my head on his chest, the weight of emotional rollercoaster I'd put myself through and the experience of making love to him began wearing on me and I quickly dozed off listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

I was barely conscious when I felt myself being dressed by a pair of strong but tender hands. Exhausted, I ignored the disruption and dozed off again until I was lifted to my feet.

"Put your arms around me, doll," I heard Bucky whisper.

"What's going on?" I asked even as I followed his instructions.

"I'm taking you home." His hand cupped my bottom before I was hoisted up like a baby being carried by their parent. "Can't have my girl sleeping on the floor, can I?"

"Your girl." I snuggled into his warm chest. "That what I am now?"

"Sure are." He tenderly kissed my forehead as he laid me down on my bed. "My beautiful girl."

I smiled and quickly fell back asleep; not a care in the world.


	9. Chapter 9

"Shit!" I said as soon as I opened my eyes to see the bright sunshine streaming into my bedroom. "Ruth, what time is it?"

"Ten-Thirty," the AI responded. "But Ms. Hunt-"

"Why didn't you wake me," I demanded, stripped out of my pajamas and getting into the shower.

"As I was saying, I was informed you would be sleeping in," she replied with an unmistakable note of annoyance in her tone.

I didn't even want to ask. "By who?"

"Mr. Barnes. He's currently in the kitchen."

"Shit."

I'd hoped the night before had been a wonderfully erotic dream, but with his scent still on me and Ruth's confirmation, I had to accept that I'd slept with Bucky.

"Shit."

I dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans and a tee-shirt, taking more time than was necessary to delay the confrontation I knew was coming. I wasn't ready to face him yet. I just knew that in the light of day he'd realize what we'd done was a huge mistake. I needed time to steel myself against the impending heartbreak I knew was coming. My plans to go to the capital would've given me a chance to avoid him for a few hours so I could come up with some witty response to keep him from feeling bad, but with him standing in my kitchen there was no avoiding it. I was going to have face last night first thing in the morning.

"Morning, doll," Bucky said happily as he stood over the mini-stove holding a pan of eggs. "Hungry?"

"Always," I joked as I joined him. I quickly busied myself setting out the plates for him and trying to make small talk. "I didn't know you cooked."

He shrugged, that tiny smile I loved seeing dancing in the corner of his lips. "I don't really. Ruth's been helping me."

"My pleasure, Mr. Barnes," she said smugly. "The toast is ready."

"Got it." I slid past him to the toaster oven. "So I talked to Shuri last night. I need to go to the capital to get supplies. She's coming to get me later."

"Sounds fun," he commented as he piled eggs onto each plate. "But I can take you if you want."

"Goat isn't my ideal form of transportation." As I placed the toast on the plate, I felt his arm around my waist. "Bucky?"

He turned me around to face him. His mischievous smile faded only slightly as he kissed me. "I've been waiting all morning to do that."

I blushed. "Thank you, but it's not necessary."

He laughed as we sat down to eat. "It is for me, baby doll."

"I just don't want you to feel obligated to me because of last night." I stared down at the plate in front of me. "You know, you don't have to feel like we're committed or anything. You can be completely honest if you have any regrets about what we did. I completely understand."

"You're cute, Des." He winked as he took a bite of toast and quickly swallowed it. "The only regret I have is not doing it sooner. And I'd regret it if we didn't do it again soon."

I picked at my food, not wanting to offend him but also not wanting to pretend there was something there if there wasn't. "Bucky, you don't have to, you know, pretend you're interested in a relationship or anything. I'm fine if you just wanted this to be a one-time thing."

"Hey." He laid his fork down and reached for my hand. "Come here."

I stood and inched over to him, keeping my eyes downcast so he wouldn't see the tears I forced away. I needed to be strong so he didn't feel guilty if he just wanted a one-night stand.

"Do you remember last night?"

I smirked. "How could I forget."

He chuckled softly. "Not that part. The other part when I brought you back here. Do you remember that?"

I glanced up at him then back down. "I was half-asleep."

He caught my chin between his fingers and lifted it, so I was forced to look directly into his eyes. "I told you you were my girl now."

"That's just pillow talk." I tried to pull away, but he held me in place.

"I don't do pillow talk, doll." He sighed. "I don't wanna rush you, Des, but I really think we got something special. I just wanna see where it goes. Is that okay?"

I felt my cheeks warm and managed a little grin. "All right, but I need to warn you: I'm a bed hog. And I snore. Bad."

He laughed. "I'll take my chances. C'mon. Let's eat."

After breakfast, he led me to a small hay pile behind his hut. Having never been to the opposite side and not one to venture too far from my quarters, I never noticed the hay was really a camouflage tarp. He gave it a quick pull and it fell away to reveal a classic military issue World War II Harley-Davidson complete with sidecar in pristine condition.

I tried to look unimpressed by the museum-quality work of American craftsmanship, but I couldn't help but smile. "'42, right?"

"I knew you were the girl for me." He climbed on and offered me his hand with a grin. "Wanna ride?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Does it even run?"

A quick crank and he brought the beast growling to life. "C'mon, gorgeous."

I considered climbing into the sidecar, but when I finally agreed he pulled me onto the seat behind him. Before I could ask for a helmet, we were barreling through the beautiful countryside toward the capital. Over the two-hour ride, I was keenly aware of the power and grace of both man and machine as he drove the bike with skill even men with two arms would've had trouble competing with. Even though I knew he was amazingly strong, holding on to him while he guided us with ease reminded me of just how powerful he was, and I wondered if he'd ever stop exceeding my expectations.

 _Don't you fall in love_ , I warned myself. _You're just going to get hurt in the end._

I pushed all thought of the future out of my mind as we enter the capital headed directly for the home of the royal family. Instead, I worried that we might be committing a social _faux pas_ by arriving unannounced. However, I quickly realized this was far from the case when King T'Challa and his royal guard were outside to greet us before the engine was even off.

"Welcome back, my friends." He said warmly. "I was worried we'd lost you both to the simpler life."

"Not yet," Bucky replied as he helped me off then embraced the king. "It's good to see you."

And you as well, White Wolf." T'Challa placed his arms around our shoulders and guided us inside. "The weeks with Ms. Hunt seem to have helped you find your smile again. I worried you'd forgotten how."

Bucky blushed a little. "Des has been good for me. Thank you again for sending her."

"No thanks are needed." T'Challa beamed. "I can see you compliment each other as well as we'd hoped."

I glanced up at him. "You hoped?"

"My brother sticks his foot in his mouth," Shuri called as she entered the room from a doorway opposite the one we entered. She hurried over and hugged me, using the opportunity to whisper, "Has he been good for you? Can we call you She-wolf yet?"

"Shut up, Shuri," I mumbled with a giggle before turning back to her brother. "Shuri probably told you I was coming to resupply, but I hope we're not disturbing you."

"Of course not. You're always welcome here. I'll have the supplies you need sent out at once."

I shook my head. "Your Highness, I couldn't impose on you again."

"Nonsense. You're still considered a guest here. It's our pleasure to take care of you." He playfully scowled. "However, if you refuse my offer to join us for dinner, I would consider it a declaration of war."

"Can't go getting into a war, can we?" I teased back. "It'd be an honor."

"Excellent. While preparations are being made, my sister would be overjoyed if you would allow her to show you the modifications to the prosthetic she'd made since last time, White Wolf." King T'Challa offered me his arm. "Ms. Hunt, I would enjoy a stroll through our gardens if you would honor me with your company."

I smiled as I took his arm and was led toward a massive glass archway while Bucky and Shuri went in the direction she'd come. We walked along in silence for a while, but I could feel his concern in the air as he waited for me to speak.

"He's shown a lot of improvement, your Highness," I began, pausing to smell a passion flower along the path. "But there's still some things he's not ready to face yet."

"And you sense his reservations?"

I shook my head. "I don't need to. It's written all over his face. He's happy, though. As happy as a person living with that many demons can be."

"Our struggles make us stronger. They teach us to cherish the joys in our lives." He rested his hand on my shoulder. "And the ones we care for."

I chuckled. "That obvious, huh?"

"For someone so in touch with the emotions of others, you seem unable to hide your own very well." He offered me a seat on a stone bench along the path. "I hope you won't be offended, but Shuri shared with me that you've needed to face demons of your own. Abandoned by your mother to an unstable father who took his own life. A husband who tried to break your spirit by breaking your body. It seems odd to me that you would choose a life of service to others after being hurt by so many you cared for."

"Guess I'm a glutton for punishment." I sighed. "It's not that. I just remember what it was like to feel alone and worthless. Nobody deserves to feel that way. If I can help one person, it'll all be worth it."

He smiled. "Your heart is childlike in its purity, Ms. Hunt. It's a rare trait to find in a person who's reached our level of maturity."

"Trust me. I'm the least mature person I know." I stood up. "You should see my Blu-Ray collection."

He laughed as we continued to walk. "Your charm is only surpassed by your sense of humor, Ms. Hunt. I'm happy I've had the pleasure of experiencing them both."

"If I may say so, your Highness, you're a silver-tongued devil."

Again, he laughed. "I find it helps in both diplomatic and personal matters."

"I can imagine." I stopped and looked up at him. "I haven't pushed him hard, but I will be soon if we're going to make sure he's really okay. There are some things I'm going to need help with. Things we need to be discreet about."

His deep chocolate eyes met mine, a look of profound assurance in them. "Whatever you need is yours, Ms. Hunt. My only request is that you take time to heal yourself as well. A pack is only as strong as its leadership and right now that role belongs to you."

I nodded, knowing he was right. I needed to be whole and strong for both of us.


	10. Chapter 10

"So," Shuri began as she lounged on the settee of the guestroom we'd been given. "Did you and the super-soldier give in to your unbridled passions after we spoke?"

I rolled my eyes but laughed anyway. "You've been reading cheap sleazy romance novels again, haven't you?"

"I take that as a yes." She sat up attentively. "And did you enjoy waking up next to him?"

"No." I paused for dramatic effect. "He was up before I was. Even made us breakfast."

She smiled. "T'Challa owes me a trip to Disneyland."

"You bet in my love life?" I stepped into the black thigh-high cocktail dress, another gift from the royal family. "Geez. Thanks for the vote of confidence."

She shrugged. "Mother was the one who mentioned it when you arrived."

"You corrupted your sainted mother too?" I shook my head. "Shame on you."

"Stop changing the subject. What happened?"

I smiled. "I wish you'd warned me when your brother invited us to dinner it was actually a state function. I hate wearing heels."

She groaned and flopped across the settee like a child. "You're not going to tell me what happened?"

I turned to her and winked. "No, but I will tell you the earth moved last night."

She laughed as she ran to hug me. "I'm so happy for you."

I continued to smile when she released me until I turned looked at myself in the mirror. "Shuri, do you think I'm good enough? To be with him, I mean. Am I really his type?"

"You Americans confuse me. All the bravado and swagger yet you constantly question your own worth." She turned to leave, adding, "Your value is more than your waist and cup sizes, my friend, and he sees that. That makes you his type."

"You're the best, Shuri," I called after her as she left.

She huffed. "Tell me something I don't know."

After she was gone, I put the finishing touches on my look: a light coat of makeup, a deep red lipstick that made my lips look fuller, and a pair of old fashion pantyhose to give my fair legs some color and smooth out my lumps. When I put on the red pair of peep-toe heels to complete my outfit, I heard a wolf whistle from the doorway and looked up.

Bucky was dressed in a jet-black suit and matching tie over a blue shirt that perfectly complimented his eyes. His face, which I'd been accustom to carrying a light beard, was neatly trimmed into a goatee. Finishing off his look, his hair was pulled back from his face in a half ponytail that left the length touching his collar.

"Baby, you're a knockout." He said as he came toward me.

I twirled around. "What? This old thing?"

"I better keep a close eye on you tonight. Every man's gonna be trying to steal you away." He grinned as he hauled me into his embrace. "Just missing one thing."

I gasped as he placed a single red rose bud behind my ear. The black and chrome prosthetic arm caught the light as he adjusted the flower then stepped back to admire his handiwork.

I fought to keep the tears out of my eyes as I stared at the arm. "Oh, honey. Your arm."

"Shuri thought it'd be a good idea to test it out and make sure there are no issues," he explained as he used it to stroke my cheek. "What do you think?"

I smiled and pressed my face into the palm. "It's perfect. Just like you."

"No, doll. You're perfect." He offered me his arm. "Shall we?"

I took it with a teasing grin. "All right, Mr. Barnes. But you better have me home by midnight. And I fully intend to be a good girl tonight so no funny business."

"You're an amazing girl, beautiful, but I gotta admit after seeing you in that dress, my intentions are less than honorable." He kissed my cheek and whispered, "I'm already trying to figure out how I'm gonna get you out it later."

By the time we made it down the hall and into the reception hall, I was already planning our escape. Just standing beside him made me want to drag him back to our room, but when he placed the metallic hand in the small of my back and I felt the unusual warmth the vibranium seemed to emit, I was more than a little turned on by the prospect of what else it was capable of heating up. I was about to ask him how long we needed to stay when we were stopped by his best friend.

"Good to see you out and about, Buck," Steve said as they shook hands. "I didn't expect to meet you here."

"Wasn't expecting it either. King T'Challa invited us this morning." He nodded at me. "You remember Des."

Steve nodded as he took my hand with a smile. "Good to see you too, Des."

"You too." Against my better judgment, I sampled his emotional state. There was still a level of concern but the underlying suspicion of me seemed to be absent.

I mingled while they talked until dinner was called. Once seated, they continued their conversation, joined by Sam and a very attractive blonde name Natasha. While I was responsive and somewhat engaged in the conversation, I let myself receive the emotions of different individuals in the room. I tried to convince myself I was just letting down my guard to enjoy myself, but I knew I was just trying to find out if there were any other women who might be interested in Bucky.

Sure enough, I was able to zero in on several who'd noticed him or Steve and a couple who considered both. Checking them out, I noticed how beautiful some of the women were and decided this would allow Bucky a chance to interact with attractive women. Maybe, with any luck, he'd find one that was perfect for him.

After dinner, I continued to monitor the other women while also trying to put some distance between Bucky and me when I felt hesitation in approaching him. His time catching up with Steve allowed me ample chances to slip away unnoticed. When I finally made it to the garden, I knew the other women would be more willing to talk to him now that I was gone.

"Saw you leave, Des," Sam said when he found me in the gardens. "You and Bucky having a fight or are you just trying to set him up with somebody else?"

I faked confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play with me. We've been friends too long. I've seen you do this song and dance before." He shook his head. "You never learn, do you? That guy's into you, Des. Why can't you just be happy about it?"  
"I am happy, Sam," I lied. "I just want to make sure he knows he has options. The man's been in the bush alone forever. He doesn't have to commit to the first piece of Twenty-first century tail he gets."

"Yeah. Like the marine in Florida?"

I shook my head. "Totally different. Jeff had daddy issues. I couldn't compete with that."

"And that other guy from Ohio?"

"Sam! He was into some pretty out there stuff. I'm glad I introduced him to Mistress Sybil." I grinned playfully. "You should've seen the wedding, though. I never thought leather could be done so tastefully."

He laughed. "You're a mess, Des. An awesome lady who's gonna make some poor bastard happy someday, but still a mess."

"I know right. That's what I've been saying. I'm a hot mess."

He smirked. "Just gonna ignore the awesome part, huh?"

I stared up at the stars. "Let's just agree to disagree. Kay?"

"Whatever you say." I looked down just in time to see him shake his head with a smile. "C'mon. Let's go see what your boyfriend's getting up to."

"Not my boyfriend," I corrected as I followed him back to the afterparty.

Sam disappeared into the crowd just as I spotted it: Bucky and Steve facing each other looking down at the stiletto of a blonde between them. She had one arm draped around Steve's neck while she pressed her back into his chest. At the same time, she looked up at Bucky with a coy smile as she toyed with the buttons on his shirt. Both men stood stiffly but didn't seem to draw away from her. While I couldn't see their expressions from across the room due to the crowd, I assumed by their lack of action they had to be intrigued.

"Her name's J'aime," Sam's friend, Natasha, said as she handed me a glass of champagne. "I'd be happy to take her out."

I laughed before I took a deep swallow. Rolling my eyes, I replied, "Thanks, but I think they're okay."

She nodded as she stared at them when I took another drink. "Sorry. I just thought you and Bucky were an item."

I shook my head. "We're just friends."

"Didn't seem that way at dinner." I caught her smile as she studied the trio.

"Destiny's in denial," Shuri offered when she joined us, clearly having been observing our conversation for a while. "But they're more than friends. She told me the earth-"

"Is clearly not a place where people keep their best friend's private lives out of casual conversations," I interrupted. "Geez Louise! Can we not perpetuate the stereotype of gossiping, catty women right now?"

"Hey, Des," Sam said, completing our circle staring over at the other group. "Who's the blonde all over your boyfriend?"

I groaned as Shuri and Nat shared a laugh. " _Et Tu_ , Sam?"

He looked confused. "What?"

Squaring my shoulders, I handed my glass to Sam. "All right already. I'm going to join them just to prove Bucky's happily flirting and everything is fine. Unless one of y'all wants to do it?"

Sam waved me off while Natasha and Shuri just looked away. Sighing, I turned and plastered on my best fake smile as I slowly made my way to join the odd assembly. I was going to prove to them Bucky wasn't mine nor did he want to be even if I secretly wished it was different.

"Des!" I heard him call my name as soon as I was in sight. Once within reach, he grabbed me and hauled me to his side, causing the woman to quickly drop her hand. "Where have you been?"

I smiled. "Just mingling."

"J'aime, this is my girlfriend Destiny." He said politely as he wrapped his arm around my waist possessively. "Des, this is J'aime. She's a model from… Johannesburg, was it?"

"Yes, dear Bucky," she purred while she surveyed me, assessing my threat level. Once seemingly assured I pose none, she placed her hand against Bucky's chest again and blatantly ignored me. "It's so sweet of you to escort your friend."

"She's not my friend." He politely but firmly caught her wrist and removed her hand. "She's the one I'm involved with and we're going to bed now. Good night, J'aime. Steve."

After several quick good nights, we headed back to our room. I could tell from the way he gripped my hand he was annoyed. Still, I opted to push the issue to ensure he knew I wasn't upset or jealous.

"She was pretty," I said casually when we were almost to our room. "Seemed really into you and Steve."

He spun around and shot me an icy glare. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"About what?"

"About us. You and me. Together?"

I shrugged. "I told you you didn't have to feel like us being intimate was some kind of commitment. If you're interested in somebody, you should go for it."

"Dammit, Des." He backed me into the wall, pinning me there as he gripped my hip tightly. His eyes bore into me. "I am interested in somebody. You."

"But-"

Before I could argue, he kissed me. His fingers dug into my skin as he pushed his entire frame against me, filling all my senses with only his presence. My body trembled as the weight of his hunger crushed my indecision. My dressed crept up my thighs, allowing his hands to slither between my legs and continue to drag me deeper under his spell. I languished under his touch while he ravished my mouth, no longer able to fight him. Gasping for air, I managed to pull my lips from his and let out a whimpering moan as he caused my knees to buckle.

"Bucky, please," I begged, his touch spurring me higher until I felt like I was going to explode. "Not here. Somebody'll see us. Let's go to the room."

"I'm sorry, gorgeous," he said through ragged breaths as he removed his hand but kept me pinned. "I just don't know how else to get through to you."

I was about to tell him that he made a very convincing argument when Steve cleared his throat and asked, "Am I interrupting?"

"Yes." Bucky eased back, careful to conceal me for the seconds it took to pull my dress back down, before putting a respectable distance between us. "What's up?"  
When I finally looked at Steve, his cheeks were pink as he looked at the floor awkwardly. "I was hoping I could borrow Des for a couple of minutes. Just to talk."

Bucky shot me an inquisitive look. When I nodded, he smiled. "Sure, pal, but you only got five minutes."

"Shouldn't take that long." I smirked at Steve. "Then again, he is really old. You might not want to wait up for me."

"Ha, ha." Steve shot me a sneer of his own. "Never get tired of the old jokes. Promise not to keep her too long."

Bucky gave me a polite kiss on the cheek before leaving. Once he was gone, I dropped the smile and glared at Steve. "Yeah?"

"Des," he began nervously. "I wanted to apologize. I was out of line the last time we talked. Your relationship with Bucky is none of my business and I had no right treating you bad or being suspicious of your motives. I really hope we can work things out and be friends. For Bucky's sake."

I eyed him skeptically. "Why the change of heart?"

"Sam told me you weren't the type to use somebody like that. He says you're one of the most decent people he's ever met." He smiled. "I was still a little concerned, but your attitude tonight was the tipping point."

"What do you mean?"

"I saw you when you walked up. If he wanted to, you would've let him go no questions asked. You care enough to set him free." He snickered. "But he only has eyes for you."

I grinned sheepishly. "I hadn't noticed."

"I know." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "You're a good woman, Des. He deserves that."

The lump in my throat kept me from speaking. Instead, I gave him a quick hug and hurried to join Bucky.

Three people who cared deeply about Bucky had voiced their approval of us beginning a relationship. My two best friends told me I was worthy of such a wonderful man. Bucky, himself, said he wanted me. As I opened the door to our room, I realized there was just one person who still seemed unsure.

Unfortunately, that one person had the biggest impact of all: Me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:**

 _Dear reader:_

 _Before you begin, I wanted to warn you that this chapter is a little graphic. If you read my other works, you know I don't use a lot of vulgar sexual language, but this is a scene where two people are... Well, you know. While I don't shy away from it, I feel it's only fair to let you know ahead of time so, if you want to, you can skip to the last few paragraphs if you like. I put a line indicating where the scene ends so you can read the PG-rated version._

 _Thanks!_

 _GK_

I opened the door and smiled at the fantasy laying on the bed in front of me. Bucky was stretched out on it; his knee bent up so that his real arm rested on it as he used his prosthetic to separate his head from the headboard. His shirt, jacket, and tie sat in a haphazard pile at the foot of the bed, allowing him to show off his perfectly sculpted chest. His slacks, though still on, were unbutton and lowered just enough to make out the waistband of his very basic white boxer shorts. He's pulled his hair out of the half-bun he's worn for the party, allowing it to fall across his blue eyes and giving him the look of both complete control and unchanneled passion.

"Nice pose," I teased as I leaned back against the door and shut it.

He smirked. "Thought you'd like it. Now, come here."

I glided across the room, exaggerating the sway of my hips as I made my way over. Still, I could feel my heart beginning to pound as his eyes toured my body from top to bottom at a leisurely pace.

"Take your dress off," he commanded from his perch on the bed. When I reached for my shoe, he shook his head. "No. Just the dress."

A wicked thrill ran down my spine as I reach for the hem and lifted it over my head. Dropping it on the floor beside his clothes, I quickly crossed my arms in front of me to cover my less desirable parts.

"Put your arms down, doll." He licked his lips as I complied. "Much better. I wanna see all of you."

I lowered my eyes, ashamed to be so revealed. "Why?"

He finally stood up and stared down at me. His voice turned from lusty to a danger whisper as he said, "Cause you're the sexiest woman I've ever seen."

I rolled my eyes. "Right."

"Don't." He caught my chin, the metal sending a cool zing through my body that caused me to shudder. "Don't talk like that. I hate it when you're self-conscious I don't ever wanna hear you demean yourself again."

I swallowed as I nodded, never looking away from him even as he placed a chaste kiss on my cheek. I trembled a little as ran his hands down my arms.

"You scared, little girl?" He whispered as he dragged his lips from my cheek to my shoulder, causing goosebumps to appear all over.

"Never." I tried to sound strong, but my voice broke when he sank his teeth into my neck, nipping me playfully.

He laughed. "I love how responsive you are. But I love the way you try and fight it more."

"Bucky," I whimpered, placing my hands against his chest. "Please don't play with me."

Again, he laughed. "Not this time, doll. I don't wanna rush anything tonight. We're gonna play for a little while."

"But-"

He laid a finger across my lips. "For once, just shut up."

As I started to argue again, he knelt in front of me. Hooking his thumbs on the waistband of my pantyhose, he lowered them down my legs until they lay in a bunch at my ankles.

"I like your panties," he said, tracing the curve of legs with his thumbs, but stopping short of my crotch. He flattened his hands on my thighs and slowly stroked the entire length of my legs before easing the pantyhose and shoes off in turn. Once gone, he smiled up at me before burying his face between my thighs and inhaling deeply.

I gasped when he nuzzled my legs open just enough for him to lap at my middle. My knees instantly weakened as he used slow, deliberate movements to apply moist pressure to my already hypersensitive parts. His hands gripped my backside, drawing me closer as he continued to pleasure me through my now drenched underwear.

"Oh God, Buck," I moaned, tangling my fingers in his hair so I could guide his head, but as soon as I tried, he pulled back.

"Easy, gorgeous," he teased as he stood and moved me to the edge of the bed. Turning me around to face the mattress, he once again took control and ordered, "Bend over."

I was too aroused to resist him. I placed my hands down in front of me so I was fully exposed to him. Realizing the position I was in, my dimpled ass right in front of him, I tried to recoil when he started to lower my panties.

"I love your ass," he said, giving it a playful swat before placing a tender kiss on the spot he'd spanked. "It seriously turns me on."

"It's too big," I snapped before I could stop myself.

"What did I tell you." He swatted me again. "It's perfect. Just like you."

His hand slid between my legs and slowly began to massage my inner lips while he ran his prosthetic along my spine. My legs quivered as he tested me with one finger then another until I was on the brink. Before I cascaded over, he withdrew them, causing me to let out an irritated growl.

"We're not done yet, baby." He teased as he used his metal arm to replace his real one as he toyed with me.

No longer able to hold myself up, I fell forward on the bed and buried my face in the covers to muffle my screams while he continued playing my body. He masterfully brought me to the edge several times only to change tempo and start the whole process all over again.

Unable to take the torture anymore, I lifted my head and screamed, "Please, Bucky. Make love to me."

He used his real hand to wrap around my waist and continued to tease me while he quickly dropped his slacks and underwear. He suddenly drove his organ into me, matching the rhythm of his hand as he sent me over the edge. I called out his name when I felt him filling me with his own stream, finishing us both.

* * *

After a few minutes, he carefully lifted me from the edge of the bed and laid us down. He held me close while he played with my hair. Pressed against his warm, naked body I snuggled in close as he kissed my forehead. Once again, Bucky had exhausted me, and I slowly began to drift off to sleep next to him.

"Des," he whispered, but it felt like I was only dreaming. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

Certain it was a dream after hearing those words, I smiled. "Me too."

I opened my eyes to see Bucky standing by the bay window overlooking the city. His face as morose as he stared into the distance like the weight of the world was on his shoulders threatening to crush him. Still, the way he stood there dressed in only his old fashion white boxer shorts made me smile.

"Even stressed out, you're sexy as hell," I teased as I got out of bed and went to him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I felt him instantly relax. "What's wrong?"

He let out a dismissive grunt as he stroked my arms. "Nothing. Just thinking."

I nipped his shoulder. "Liar."

"Harsh, baby doll." He said with a chuckle as he pulled me to his front and wrapped me in a bearhug. "I never thought it could be like this. I keep waiting to wake up from stasis to find out it's all been a dream."

"Me too." I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent like a drug. He sighed and kissed my forehead as I nestled deeper in his arms. "I love being here with you. This city, this country, the people. It so beautiful. So perfect. It doesn't seem real sometimes."

"It won't always be like this." His arms tightened around me as if trying to shield me from the threats beyond our window. "And we still don't know if he's gone for good."

"There's one way to find out." I touched his cheek, finally drawing his eyes down to mine. "I know you're scared, but I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

I smirked. "You better be. I'm a very dangerous woman, Mr. Barnes."

"Go easy on me, gorgeous. I'm an old man." He let out another sigh, but it was one of contentment. "How'd I get so lucky?"

"I don't know, babe, but I'm glad you did." I kissed his chin. "C'mon. If you're not going to sleep with me, the least you could do it lay beside me. That big ol' bed is too cold to be alone in."

I smiled as I led him back, but my heart was breaking. I knew what I had to do. I just prayed he wouldn't hate me forever for it.


	12. Chapter 12

"You ready?" I asked.

Bucky narrowed his eyes and gave an imperceptible nod. "Yeah."

The projector whirred to life, the sounds of his screams filling the darkened lab where his image was strapped to a chair. The holographic Bucky panted as a man dressed in an old Soviet uniform circled him holding a red book with a single silver star of the cover.

The real Bucky sat in the edge of the sofa, his eyes focused on the image of both men, his fists clenched in his lap. Even though his expression was neutral, I carefully watched the monitors as his heart rate and blood pressure began to rise.

" _Longing_ ," the holographic Russian soldier said.

Bucky's jaw tightened. His heart rate continued to increase.

" _Rusted_."

Bucky twitched, his head jerking to the side like an animal looking for a way to escape a trap.

" _Seventeen._ "

"That's enough," he said as he stood.

I ignored him and allowed the memory to continue running.

" _Daybreak._ "

"Shut it down," he ordered, but I made no move to stop it.

" _Furnace._ "

"Shut it down now!" He yelled, running over to the console. He drew back his fist as he stared blankly at the equipment.

"Fine." I jumped in front of him and quickly ended the memory sequence before he had a chance to destroy the system. "It's off."

He glared at me, his eyes two slits of icy rage. "We're done."

I nodded. "Fine."

His shoulder slumped as he turned away from me and ripped off the sensors before tossing them carelessly on the coffee table. I watched him storm out, my heart breaking once again at another failed attempt.

We'd done this song and dance since our return from the capital two weeks prior. I knew we needed to expose him to the trigger words to prove he was no longer a danger, but we never made it to the end. Regardless of which memory we used, he always shut us down before the string was complete.

"What happens if they work and he comes back?" He demanded the first time I suggested we try.

"He won't come back," I assured him.

"We don't know that. If I hurt you…"

"You won't." I smiled as I pulled him close.

In return, he kissed my forehead. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because you're not the Winter Soldier anymore." I cupped his cheeks. "You're my Bucky."

He smiled, but I knew it wouldn't be enough that I said it. He had to trust himself and our biggest problem was that he didn't and there was very little I could do to change that perception.

Hours after our latest session, he came back. Hearing the door open, I continued to make dinner and pretend everything was normal. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, gorgeous," he said into my skin.

I nodded but didn't turn to face him. "I know."

"But you're still mad."

"I'm not mad." I sighed. "I'm just disappointed."

"In me?"

"No. Just-" I paused, trying to find just the right words. "I don't know. Maybe if we tried a different memory or maybe if I said them."

He turned me to face him. "Hey. Stop worrying. We're okay just like this, aren't we?"

I rolled my eyes. "Right. Just you, me and our isolation. We're great."

He frowned. "You're not happy here?"

I was blissfully happy, but my happiness wasn't what mattered. He needed to be happy with himself and trust that, for everything he'd done in the past, he was still a good person worthy of other people's love and acceptance.

"I don't know. It just feels like there's nothing more for me to help you with." I looked away from him. "Maybe it's time I go home."

If Shuri hadn't removed his arm before we left the capital, I know he would've grabbed me and tried to shake some sense into me. Even with his one arm, he made a valiant effort to do so before grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him.

"Are you serious?" He demanded even as his expression pleaded with me.

I nodded. "There's nothing else for me to help with. You've made tremendous progress. The rest you can work out on your own with the tools you have now. You really don't need me anymore."

"Says who?"

"Bucky, we both knew I wasn't going to stay here forever." I sighed. "It's time for me to go."

He stared at me as emotions flashed through his eyes: surprise, anger and hurt all took their turn before a look of resolve replaced everything.

"Then I'm going with you," he stated finally. "I meant what I said, I think I'm in love with you."

I shook my head. "You're not in love with me."

"Dammit!" He snapped. "Don't tell me how I feel about you. I do love you."

I smiled sadly. "How can you when you don't even trust yourself enough to sleep with me?"

"I don't wanna hurt you," he protested.

"I'm not afraid of you lashing out because of a nightmare."

"You should be!" He grabbed my arm and gave it another little shake. "I could kill you, doll. Why can't you understand that?"

"Because I know you." I stopped myself, taking a moment to calm down. "Look. We're not getting anywhere like this. Just go home and we'll talk tomorrow."

"Destiny." He reached out and stroked my cheek. "You don't have to leave. I… I really do love you."

I turned away. "Please. Just go."

I felt him stare at me for a long time before his footsteps receded out the door. I closed my eyes and fought back the tears, angry I'd been so cruel but well aware it had to be done.

"Ruth, play the audio from the last memory," I said once I trusted myself to speak again.

"Yes, Ms. Hunt. Shall I remove the background sounds?"

I smiled, thankful she knew I wouldn't be able to listen to Bucky's screams again. "Yes, please. And loop it. I need to be able to get those words right."

"Of course, Ms. Hunt."

As I listened to the trigger words, I repeated them aloud the same way I'd done since our first attempt to confront the Soldier's programming. Even though I knew them by heart, I needed to be flawless when I finally made him hate me.


	13. Chapter 13

I smiled as I watched him feed his herd of goats the following afternoon. His ritual of laying out fresh hay for them every morning and afternoon had become such a part of my life. It was when he seemed most at peace; when he took care of the ones who needed him. I cherished watching him because it reminded me of just how gentle he was. And why I loved him so much.

I made my way over to the cart and leaned against it. Lost in his work, he didn't notice me until I cleared my throat and said, "Hi."

He looked over at me and smiled. "Hi yourself, doll."

I swallowed the lump I'd had since our argument the day before and asked, "Can we talk?"

"Of course." He stuck the pitchfork in the ground, reminding me of the first time I'd approached him. It felt like lifetimes ago. "I wanted to come over this morning, but I figured…"

"Yeah. I know." I stared at the ground in front of me, kicking at it. "I'm sorry, Bucky. I didn't mean to pick a fight."

"Hey. It's okay."

I shook my head. "No. It was wrong of me to threaten to leave. I promise not to do it again. I just…" I sighed. "I just want to help you and… I do care about you. I really do, but it's hard for me. I got a lot of baggage."

"I get that." I felt his hand rest over mine. "You've been through a lot too."

"Yeah, but nothing compared to you." I chuckled. "Most of my mess is my own doing, you know."

"Doesn't make it any easier to get through." He squeezed my hand. "If you need to talk about it or just want a shoulder to lean on, I'm here for you."

"I really appreciate that." I slid over and laid my head on his shoulder. Staring at his profile, I added, "There's just one other thing I need to say."

"What's that, doll?"

"I think I'm in love with you, James Buchanan Barnes."

He looked over at me with a tender smile. "Told you so."

I giggled as I pushed off the cart and stood in front of him. Placing my hands on my hips, I rolled my eyes. "Geez. I was hoping for something a little more romantic than an 'I told you so.' And you never told me anything."

"I was waiting for you to figure it out." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his chest. "I love you too, Destiny Hunt."

I inhaled his scent, a scent I'd come to cherish, before wrinkling my nose. "It'd be a hell of a lot sexier coming from a man that didn't smell like a goat."

He smirked as he raised an eyebrow. "We can fix that."

 _Aw hell_ , I thought, realizing exactly what he had in mind. "Don't you dare, Bucky."

His smile widened as he tightened his grip around my waist. "C'mon, doll. Just a quick dip."

"No," I protested as he began pulling me toward the lake. "I'm serious."

He stopped at the edge, his smile never fading. "All right. I got a better idea."

"Thank God," I gushed, leaning on him dramatically. "I'm glad you came to your senses finally."

"I was going to suggest we make use of that big bathtub you got." He drew me close, his lips within kissing distance. "But just for that."

We were already in the underwater before I register what was happening. Plunging into the chilly lake, I clung to him for dear life once again and hoped he didn't lose his grip. When he surfaced, he let out a thundering laugh I'd never heard before.

"You're crazy, Bucky Barnes," I shouted, trying my best to sound angry. However, his heartfelt laughter made me smile as well.

"Crazy about you, doll," he teased. Lounging on his back, he released my waist, causing me to cling even tighter for fear I'd drown. I started to curse, but he leaned in for a lingering kiss that made my toes curl. When he finally drew away, the impossibly wide grin only widened. "I love you, Des."

"Then prove it." I nuzzled his bearded cheek. "Stay with me tonight."

He leaned back so I could nibble his neck. I grazed his Adam's Apple with my teeth, causing him to moan. "Whatever you say, gorgeous."

"All night." I stopped myself to look into his eyes. "Please, Bucky. I want to know what it's like to wake up next to you."

He was silent for a long time, watching me watch him. Finally, he nodded. "All right. I'll stay."

I buried my face in his chest as he took us back to shore, but I kept replaying a song my dad used to listen to when I was younger in my head. My dad loved the Shirelles, but his favorite song was one of their biggest hits: _Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow_.

There was no session that afternoon. We made dinner together, playfully stealing bites from each other and laughing when we missed and spilled something. We cleaned up then pretended to watch movies while we made out on the sofa like two teenagers, but never went beyond heavy petting. The building anticipation of sleeping together for the first time was more erotic than the act of making love.

Around midnight, he lovingly took my hand and led me to the bedroom. We showered together, mostly playfully touching and more making out, then turned in. As he slipped under the covers completely naked, he beamed with so much love I wanted to turn away.

"You gonna get dressed?" He asked as I turned down my side of the bed.

I gawked at him. "No."

He smirked. "Put your shorts on, please."

"Why?"

"So I can take them off."

I giggled as I slipped on my shorts, adding my camisole as well. Giving him a smirk of my own, I asked, "Happy now?"  
"Very." He turned down the blanket and patted the bed. "C'mon, doll. Let's get some rest."

I snuggled close as he draped his arm around my shoulders and held me. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the sound of his heart beating. "I love you, Bucky."

He kissed me, but his body tensed as he pulled away. "If I start having a nightmare-"

"Shut up, Bucky," I teased. "I know what to do."

"I just don't want to hurt you." He lowered his eyes. "I couldn't live with myself if I did."

I sat up so I could stare down at him. "It's okay, baby. Nothing going to happen. I promise."

He nodded. "I'd do anything for you, Des."

"I know." I laid back down. "That's why I love you."

I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing until I drifted off to sleep. It seemed like only a few minutes before I felt the sunshine warming my face and I opened my eyes to see him still laying next to me, sound asleep. The nightmares he'd feared so much never even happened.

I slowly slid out of bed, careful not to wake him, and watched him for several minutes. I'd been right about what I'd told Shuri. Sleeping next to Bucky only confirmed that I wasn't just attracted to him; I was really in love with him.

Which was why it hurt me so badly when I crept back to my side of the bed and slowly began tugging the two-inch thick vibranium bands that had been installed while we were in the capital. I pulled them across his body, the arch shape allowing me to secure them to the massive anchors already driven twelve feet into the ground without accidentally touching him.

I stared at my handiwork, a mixture of pride and repulsion at what I had done and was about to do. Finally, I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Morning, baby."

"Mmm," he groaned with a lazy smile as he rolled over onto his back. "Morning, gorgeous. What time is it?"

"Time to exorcize your last demons," I replied as I stepped away. "Ruth, the straps."

The AI almost sounded remorseful as she complied. "Yes, Ms. Hunt."

"What the hell!" He said as the bands tightened across his forehead, chest and arm, and ankles. "Des!"

"I'm so sorry, Bucky," I said as I walked to the foot of the bed and stared down at him. "Ruth, play audio only from the last memory."

"Yes, Ms. Hunt."

Bucky instantly began fighting against the restraints as the trigger words began to play. The look of fear as he beseeched me to stop felt like knives cutting out my heart. Still, I repeated each word as it played.

"Longing. Rusted. Seventeen."

He stopped fighting and stared at me as he begged, "Don't do this, Des. Please."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Daybreak. Furnace. Nine."

"You can't control him, Des." The thrashing began again in earnest, causing the bed support to groan and crack. "Please, baby. Stop."

"Benign. Homecoming. One."

His eyes burned into me, pleading as he screamed to block out the words. Seconds ticked away like hours as the bed finally shattered when he drove his fist through the mattress. Tears rolled down both our faces, but the straps held firm just long enough for me to finish.

"Freight car."

There was a deafening silence in the room as Bucky lay motionless on the bed; the rise and fall of his chest the only indication he was alive. Slowly, he opened his eyes and stared blankly at me.

 _Please, God, No_. I silently prayed before asking, "Soldier?"

It seemed like a lifetime before he answered. "No, Des. It's just me."

I let out a massive sigh of relief, but the fury on his face made my joy short-lived. I'd single-handedly destroyed our relationship in the process of saving him.

"Ruth, release Mr. Barnes," I said, putting as much distance between us as the tiny room would allow.

The straps quickly retracted, and he got to his feet. I stared at the floor while listening to him get dressed. When the room fell silent again, I glanced up to see him staring at me with an unreadable expression.

"I'm sorry I scared you," I said when the silence was too much for me to bear. "But I'm not sorry I did it. Now you know for sure. Nobody can ever control you again."

He continued to stare, not speaking a single word as he watched me watch him. Finally, he turned around and walked out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

"So, let me make sure I got this right," Tony Stark said as he stared across his desk at me, his fingers laced in front of his face. His eyes were blank, but I knew he was both annoyed and impressed. Not many people approached the man directly and less admitted to what I had done. "You used a stolen version of my tech."

"B.A.R.F. to be exact," I corrected, fighting back the grin. "And might I suggest using a different acronym."

"Yeah. I'm working on it." When he tried to shoot me a menacing glare, I couldn't keep from snickering. "As I was saying: you took my technology and modified it to… What did you do with it exactly?"

"Allow veterans with PTSD to relive traumatic incidents from an observers point of view," I explained as professionally as my smirk would allow. "By creating a safe environment, it allows them to manage their stressors while learning better coping mechanisms. It's all in the paper I wrote. I can highlight the important passages if you like. Save you some time reading."

"Thank you for the offer, but I am capable of reading." He lowered his hands. "I have another question, though. How did you get my very private, very encrypted phone number?"

"I was given it."

"By?"

I shrugged. "A close, personal friend."

"Can I get a name? Maybe I can invite them to my birthday party."

"With all due respect, Mr. Stark, these friends of mine are very private people who like being left alone." When he opened his mouth to speak, I raised my hand. "However, they tell me that they consider you a friend as well and hope you'll forgive them for not staying in touch. Well, some of them do. Sam thinks you're an asshole."

"And I supposed these 'friends'-" He actually held up his fingers for air quotes, "said it'd be a good idea to come to me? To ask for a job?"

"No, sir. They thought it was a dumb idea." I shrugged. "But a girl's gotta pay her bills and living in New York is expensive."

"Guess working in Wakanda doesn't pay much." This time he got to hold up his hand to keep me from speaking as he eased around his desk and came to stand in front of me. He leaned on the edge, assessing me. "Don't act surprised, Ms. Hunt. Did you really think you'd get past security without a background check? I got to say, you impressed me."

"Thank you."

"That's not a compliment. You're either crazy or have the biggest set I've ever seen." He returned to his seat behind his desk. "I'm sure you know that Pepper is actually the CEO of Stark Industries."

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

"So, I can't exactly hire you on the spot."

Again, I nodded. "I understand."

"Well, Destiny." He paused. "Can I call you Destiny?"

"Of course, but I prefer just Des."

"All right, Des." His expression was deadpan as he continued. "Take the weekend and relax because Monday morning you start in R and D. I usually get in around eleven so be there around eight. And bring coffee. I take mine with a shot of Irish cream. Oh, and dress casual cause you're going to get dirty."

"Yes, sir." I rose and extended my hand. "Thank you, Mr. Stark."

As I turned to leave his office, he called after me. "One more thing: next time you want to play with my toys, just ask."

I turned to him and winked. "Of course, Mr. Stark."

"And Des?"

I glanced over at him again. "Yes, sir?"

"Next time you talk to Steve, let him know the feeling's mutual." He turned back to his console. "Have a good weekend."

By the time I hit the ground floor of Stark's office, I was walking on air. Steve and Sam both told me going to Stark was insane given the fact that I had his property, but I had a feeling once he saw the work, I'd done prior to going to Wakanda he'd be impressed. His philanthropy was the stuff of legends, so I knew he'd take a chance. I was glad I was right.

Thinking about Steve and Sam brought back the memories of the one person I tried to push out of my head since returning to the States.

 _Bucky_.

As much I tried to deny it, he was always on my mind. In the three weeks since I'd been back, I'd seen him everywhere I went. He was at the grocery store when I went to get dinner, on the subway when I was on my way home, and even on the billboards in Times Square. Every dark-haired man made me pause for just a second to make sure.

It was the nights that were the hardest, though. Over the course of one evening, I'd gotten used to feeling his strong body against me. There wasn't a body pillow or comforter that could replace what it was like to feel his arm around me, holding me like I was the most precious thing in the world.

It wasn't the money that drove me to reach out to Tony Stark. King T'Challa and Shuri had made sure I would be taken care of for as long as I wanted, but I needed the distraction before I completely lost my mind thinking about him.

 _I miss him so much_.

I waited a full hour after he left before I reached out to Shuri. When I told her we'd verified the triggers had been removed and it was time for me to go, she didn't argue. Maybe it was my tone or the puffiness in my eyes from crying, but she sent out a hover-jet and I was on my way to London within another hour.

I tried to convince myself once he heard the jet, he'd come back. I'd made a promise to never threaten to leave again so he had to know but when he didn't show up, I knew I'd destroyed everything we had. I almost laughed at the irony of it all: it'd only taken a matter of minutes to burn the bridge we'd spent months building.

In London, Sam and Natasha came to see me. Natasha, bless her heart, brought me chocolate chip cookie dough ice-cream while I told them what happened. I explained that it'd been my mission to make sure the Winter Soldier wouldn't re-emerge should a crisis arise, but I hadn't planned on caring about him.

"It was the only way we could make sure," I explained, more for my own benefit than theirs. "We tried playing the memories and doing it his way, but he wouldn't. He just wouldn't. I hated it, but it was the only way."

"You really did love him, didn't you?" Sam asked.

I scoffed. "Of course I did, dumbass. I was even considering staying there. But I guess I messed that all up. You were right, Sam. I always push men away before they get too close. After my ex, I'm just so scared. I don't want to get hurt again."

"Bucky probably felt the same way." Natasha rubbed my back. "But he overcame it."

"Yeah, well. He's a better person than me." I let out a bitter laugh. "And now I'm sitting here in this stupid hotel room bawling my eyes out to you guys getting fatter. Awesome."

"You can always go back," she offered.

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't want to see me. He's probably with Steve right now telling him about how I strapped him down to the bed, naked as a jaybird, and made him listen to me say the code words."

When neither of them spoke, I glanced up from my ice-cream to see Natasha and Sam exchange looks before they both burst out laughing.

"Damn, Des," Sam said, trying to talk between fits of laughter. "You had him naked? That's cold."

"I don't know." Natasha tried to look serious but kept grinning. "I'm kind of impressed. Even I hadn't tried that before."

I smiled as well, seeing the humor of it. "Yeah, well. Girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."

After that, I felt a little better. By the time I was on the flight back to New York, I'd almost convinced myself it was all for the best. We'd never been meant to last no matter how much we thought we loved each other. Real life just didn't work out that way.

Then I started seeing him everywhere and the nights became long and lonely events to be endured.

 _God. Am I ever going to stop missing him?_

I glanced down at my phone when I felt it vibrate in my hand. Not recognizing the phone number but seeing it was local, I assumed it was Stark's office letting me know when I needed to come in and fill out employment paperwork.

I put on my best phone voice and answered it as I started to cross at the light. "Hello?"

"Hi, doll."

I stopped in the middle of the street, too shocked to move. "Bucky?"

He chuckled softly. "I'm surprised you still recognize my voice."

"Ha, ha. You're such a funny guy." I tried to keep my voice steady even though my heart felt like it was about to pound out of my chest. "How are you?"

"Better hearing your voice." He sighed. "Be even better if you were here."

"I figured you'd never want to see me again after last time." I paused, considering my next words before I just blurted it out. "I thought you hated me."

"I never hated you, Des." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "I get it, but I was hurt. Just tell me one thing. Was what we had, what we said, was any of it real? For you, I mean? Did you really mean it or were you just trying to get me to open up?"

"Oh, Bucky." A car horn caused me to jump. Remembering I was standing in the middle of the street, I hurried across after flipping the driver off. Once safe, I continued, "Of course I meant it. You know I tried to keep my distance in the beginning, but I fell hard for you. And, if we're being completely honest here, it scared the hell out of me."

"Me too." He groaned. "But not as much as being without you. I just needed to know if you really loved me."

I smiled as I leaned against the signal light. "Yes, James Buchannan Barnes, I really do love you."

"I love you too, Des." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I gotta go, doll. Can I call you later?"

"Promise you'll call me back and not ghost me?"

"Promise."

"All right then." I closed my eyes and imagined him standing in front of me, those blue eyes smiling down at me. "Talk soon."

"Talk soon. Love you. Bye."

My heart felt like it was doing cartwheels. For the first time in weeks, I felt true happiness again. Bucky not only forgave me but still loved me.

I watched my phone the whole day while I went through my remaining business. By the time I got home, it was already after six and he still hadn't called. I almost started to worry until I considered the time difference and realized it'd probably the next morning before he called back. Satisfied, I ate a quick dinner, shower then sat down to watch TV before turning in for the night. A few minutes after I was settled, my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and smiled.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping," I playfully scolded when I answered it.

"It's been hard to sleep the past few weeks," Bucky said softly.

Concerned, I asked, "Are you having nightmares?"

He chuckled, his voice low. "It's not nightmares keeping me up, gorgeous."

"Oh. Oh!" Catching his meaning, I teased, "Have you tries warm goat's milk. I hear that can help."

"Yeah. I don't think it'll help." He paused. "I miss you, Des. When I came back and you were gone…" He trailed off.

"I was so sure you hated me. I mean, I tied you down to the bed and made you face your worst fear. If somebody'd done that to me, I sure wouldn't wait them hanging around anymore."

"I was angry."

"Pissed off is more like it."

"And hurt," he added. "But it didn't mean you had to leave. If you'd waited, we could've dealt with it. Together."

"Like I said, Bucky, you scared me. You were getting inside. The last guy who did that hurt me bad. I just- I didn't want it to happen with you."

"I promise I'd never hurt you, doll. I want you to be able to trust me and I'll spend every day proving to you you can. You mean that much to me."

I stretched out across my sofa, wishing he was there with me. "Thank you."

"I love you, Des. I'll never stop. And, if you'll let me, I'll help you fix what that other guy broke in you."

"I'd like that a lot." I grabbed a throw pillow and held it against my chest, hugging it like it was him. "God! I wish you were here right now so I could hug you. Want to know how lame I am? I'm hugging my pillow right now. I'm so pathetic."

He laughed. "Nah. You're cute. Hell, you look sexy in those little shorts and shirt."

"Not as sexy as you in those old man boxers of yours."

"So harsh, baby doll. But it's worth it to see you laid back on the couch with your hair all spread out like that. Did you get it cut?"

"Yeah. With the summer coming up, I figured it'd be cooler." I stopped talking. Was he describing me from memory or was he…? _No. He couldn't be._ I sat up and searched the shadows of my apartment. "Bucky, where are you?"

"Check the window, doll." When I looked over and saw him standing on the fire escape, a massive grin on his face as he waved his prosthetic hand at me, I almost screamed. "Can I come in?"

I ran over and threw it open before dragging him inside. Slamming it shut and closing the blinds, I turned on him and demanded. "Are you crazy? What the hell were you thinking coming here and hanging out on my fire escape? Did you forget that you're wanted by… By everybody! Jeez, Bucky!"

"We thought it'd be romantic," he said with a sheepish grin.

"Romantic is sending roses, not stalking a woman from her window." I stared at him gape-mouthed. "Wait. You just said 'we'. Who else is here?"

"Steve, Nat, and Sam just left. They said to say hello." He winked. "And stalking always worked in the movies. Sorry for scaring you, though. Forgive me, gorgeous?"

I rushed into his chest and embraced him tightly as I began to cry. He'd risked his freedom – his life – to be with me so I couldn't stay mad for long. Though laughing tears, I said, "You're an idiot, Bucky. And I love you for it."

He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close while he kissed my forehead. "I love you too, Des, and I'm never going to let you go again."

I looked up at him as he smiled at me and gave him a quick kiss. He returned it with zeal as he lifted me off my feet. Quickly, the kiss became more passionate. I tugged at his shirt as he lowered me to the floor again. His hands left me as he stripped it off and tossed it, only breaking contact long enough to pull it over his head.

"God, I've missed you," he whispered as I peppered his neck and chest with kisses. "Slow down, doll. We got time."

"We've lost too much of that." I pulled his pants open to reveal his tried-and-true boxers barely keeping him concealed. "I've thought about you every day since I left. I'm not wasting another second."

Shoving him down on the sofa, he laughed as I straddled him. "Somebody's aggressive tonight."

"You damn right." I pulled my camisole over my head and threw it. Running my fingernails across his firm body, I growled. "C'mere, baby."

He buried his face in my chest as I rocked back and forth in his lap, savoring the feel of his need against my own. With my hands tangled in his hair, I guided him to the neediest points and moaned when he clamped down on one then the other with gusto. I rose just enough so I could reach between us and stroked him, causing him to moan as well. His head fell back against the sofa as I worked him slowly.

"I never thought… I'd enjoy a woman… being so… controlling." He said through pants as I quickened the pace. "But you gotta… stop, doll."

"No sir," I teased as I used the back of my hand to move the thin material of my shorts aside so he could feel the heat of my desire on him. "I can't wait anymore."

"Oh hell," he groaned just seconds before I took him deep inside.

The feeling was enough to bring me to the edge and I rode hard and fast until I felt the intensity reaching the breaking point. Unable to continue on my own so close to the verge, he took over by grabbing my hips and lifting me repeatedly until we both lost control completely and finished in unison.

I laid my head on his shoulder and kissed him sweetly, the only sound our breathing as we clung to each other.

"I love you, Des," he said as he stroked my back. "And I'm gonna make you happy."

I smiled into his warm skin. "You always do."


	15. Chapter 15

The smell of bacon woke me up the next morning and I couldn't help but smile when I remembered how Bucky held me all night long.

"Get up, sleepyhead," he teased from my bedroom doorway before climbing back in and hugging me from behind. "We got work to do."

I rolled over and nuzzled his neck. "Five more minutes."

"Breakfast is getting cold." He laughed when I nibbled his throat. "Quit it. You're not worming your way out of getting up."

"But it's so nice and warm," I whined. "And my boyfriend wore me out last night."

He kissed my forehead. "You wore him out."

"Pfft. He's a super-soldier. He can take it." I tapped my fingers along his chest, enjoying the strength of his body before giving in. "All right. Let me get a shower."

"That's my girl." He patted my bottom as I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. "After breakfast, you can go meditate then we'll get started on the work I got planned."

"How'd you know about my meditation?" I called as I climbed into the shower.

He laughed just outside the curtain. "Are you kidding me? I used to love watching you from my hut. You always looked so calm."

"I felt the same way about you feeding your goats." I poked my head out and gave him a quick kiss before hurrying to finish. "So, what's this work you got planned?"

"You'll see," was all he said before leaving to let me get dressed.

When I entered the kitchen, I noticed the projector in the living room. Giving him a questioning look, he just smiled and pulled out a chair for me in front of the meal he'd prepared. While we ate, I waited for him to tell me why he'd brought the projector from Wakanda. Did he feel like there was something else he wanted to share with me? Did he need another session after everything we'd already done?

"Stop worrying," he teased, apparently noticing my concerned look. "It's not for me."

"Then what is it for?" I asked as I cleaned up our mess.

He joined me at the sink and kissed my neck. "I promised to help you. I wanna keep that promise."

"Bucky, no." I trembled. In response, he wrapped his arms around me. "I don't need to. I'm good."  
"You don't have to be the strong one, Des." He kissed my neck again. "Let me take care of you."

He took my hand and guided me into the living room. Opening a large metal case that housed a small monitor and keyboard, he entered in data. The projector made the familiar sound of booting up and a voice played through it.

"Good morning, Mr. Barnes," Ruth, the AI from Wakanda, said happily. "Are we ready to begin?"

"Not yet, Ruth." Bucky opened his hand, revealing the four sensors. Holding them out to me, he smiled. "Ready, doll?"

I felt the pinpricks of sweat on the back of my neck. "Bucky, I don't think I can do this."

He clasped my hand with his. "You saved me once, remember? Now, let me save you. All you gotta do is trust me."

"But-" I closed my eyes, fighting back tears. "I trust you."

"No matter what happens, I love you." He kissed each side of my temple before applying the sensors. "Just think of a happy thought at first."

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed as he applied the remaining sensors. I could hear the projector begin its process of creating the holographic images from my past. I took several deep breaths, preparing myself for what was to come, and opened my eyes.

The first thing I saw was my father and me rereading the acceptance letter for Texas A&M. We were hugging as he beamed proudly at me.

"Ya did it, darlin'," he said, the first smile I'd seen in a week on his face. "Ya gonna be the first Hunt ta go ta college. I'm so proud, princess."

"You're sure you're gonna be all right with me gone?" I asked him.

"'Course." He laughed. "Ya ol' man can take care of hisself."

I hugged him again. "I know, daddy. I just worry about you."

"Stop worryin', princess. Ya got ya own life ta live." He ruffled my hair. "An' ya ol' man's always gonna be there fer ya. Ya hear?"

"Yes, sir."

"He was really proud of you," Bucky said as he stood beside me, watching the scene unfold.

I nodded. "He really was. He had his moments, but he always said I was the best thing he ever did."

The scene shifted and it was a month later when I came home from college. I couldn't wait to tell him how wonderful it'd been. It was everything we'd thought it would be and so much more. I wasn't prepared to see the sheriff standing in the doorway.

"What's going on?" I demanded, sure he'd gotten into another fight at the bar.

"Miss Hunt," the sheriff said, his eyes downcast. "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"Ruth, please pause the program," I said as I took a seat on the sofa and buried my face in my hands.

"Talk to me, doll," Bucky said as he knelt in front of me. "Was this when he killed himself?"

I nodded. "Yes. He'd gotten into a fight with his stupid girlfriend and she left him. I guess he was going to show her or something. Dammit. He was so stupid. Shot himself in the chest. Who does that? Who shoots themselves in the chest? I always thought if I hadn't gone away to school, if I'd just stayed and gone to junior college, I could've stopped him. I would've been there for him."

"It wasn't your fault." He wrapped his arms around me. "You can't blame yourself for what happened."

I bawled, angry with my father for taking the easy way out instead of facing his fears but angrier with myself for not stopping him. I needed him to be the adult, but I'd spent the better part of my childhood taking care of him. It'd left me growing up too fast, making decisions no child should have to make and fix things children didn't need to fix.

"I wanted to hate him," I said at last, finally meeting Bucky's eyes. "I really tried, but damned if I could. He loved me. In his own weird way, he took care of me too. He made me who I am, and I guess that's okay, isn't it?"

"It's more than okay, doll. You're amazing."

We went through several hours of memories about my father, both the good and the bad, before Ruth recommended we take a break. After making us a couple of sandwiches, Bucky and I sat cuddled up on the sofa just talking about everything he'd seen and I'd been through. For the first time in years, thinking of my dad didn't make me sad or angry. I accepted him, flaws and all, and loved him for helping me be a better person. By the time we went to bed that night, my heart felt lighter than it had in years. Still, I knew Bucky had more planned and the next morning was a repeat of the day prior. Only this time, he pushed harder for me to face a demon I fought against.

"Show me your ex," he said flatly, leaving no remove for argument as the machine started again.

"There's nothing to show," I insisted. "You know the story."

"I want to see it."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

My living room converted into the white-walled base housing unit we shared. Before us stood the handsome young marine I'd fallen in love with after I left school. He was scowling at the younger version of me while I scowled back. We'd been arguing when I found the race track ticket in his cammies and a receipt for roses I never got.

"Who is she?" I demanded, waving the receipt in his face.

"They were just for a friend's wife," he argued back, slapping my hand away. "He asked me to pick them up."

"Stop lying." My fists were clenched so tightly my fingernails cut into my palms. "I'm done. I'm leaving."

"Where the hell you gonna go?" He demanded, shoving me as I stormed down the hall to our bedroom. "You don't have any family. And nobody wants your fat ass. You're not leaving."

I turned on him and sneered. "Your best friend wants me. He told me last time we all went out. Remember when he asked me to dance? He said that if you hadn't already claimed me, he'd love to have me. Why don't I call Cole now and tell him I'm available since you seem to be."

I could still feel his hands wrap around my throat as he lifted me several inches off the floor. I gagged and kicked, trying to get free while also trying to rip his hand away.

"I'll kill you," he said so calmly I knew he would. When he dropped me, my foot slipped, and I fell back into the corner of the wall. The impact rattled my teeth as I slid down the wall, leaving a trail of blood on the pristine white paint.

"Jesus, Des." He said, kneeling down and taking my hand as he helped me up. "You're so clumsy. Look what you did to yourself?"

Bucky, who'd been holding me on the sofa while we watched, got up. As the memory continued to run, he glared at my ex-husband with so much hatred even I cowered a little. He drew back his fist and took a swing at the hologram. It passed completely through but left a sizable hole in the wall.

"Ruth, stop the memory," I said, getting up and going to Bucky. His breathing was hard as he stared at the image of the man who'd done so much damage to me. Resting my hand on his shoulder, I teasingly asked, "Feel better?"

"No." He turned to me, his eyes softening. "I wanna kill the bastard."

I smiled, tears already rolling down my cheeks. "That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever done for me."

"I'll never let anybody hurt you again, Des." He pulled me into his embrace. "I promise to keep you safe."

"I would've given anything to hear somebody say that all those years ago." I held his face in my hands. "But I don't need a hero, Bucky. Not anymore."

He smiled. "What can I do, then?"

I waved at the image of my ex-husband, still paused. "His name was James too, you know. His friends called him Jamie. After I left him, Jamie got remarried to the girl he dated before me and had two pretty little girls. His life turned out pretty damned good and I hated him for it. I was trapped right here, scared to move beyond what happened. Look at him, though. He was just some scared kid trying to be a big man. I don't hate him. I feel sorry for him."

"You forgive him?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I guess I do. About damn time, huh? And now I can move on. I tried letting him be my hero, but I guess it's time I realize I'm the only one that can save me."

I felt Bucky's jaw stiffen and met his eyes. "What about us?"

"I still got a lot of healing left to do. Can you handle that?" When he nodded, I added, "Even if it means leaving New York and never coming back?"

His face hardening. "Yes."

"Even if it means going back to Wakanda?" I tapped the com-link he wore on his forearm. "Call Steve. It's time we get out of here."

His smile reappeared. "'We'? The way you were taking, I didn't think you were coming."

"Of course I'm coming." I grinned and playfully rolled my eyes. "What? You think I'd let the only man to beat up my ex-husband get away? Please. Besides, it's too noisy here. I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks. And my fish miss me."

"They're not the only ones." He kissed the tip of my nose. "C'mon, doll. Let's go home."


	16. Chapter 16

I rolled over when I felt the feather-light touch of lips on my shoulder and smiled. "Morning, handsome."

"Morning, gorgeous," Bucky propped his head in his hand so he could stare down at me, that innocent smile dancing in the corner of his lips. "How'd we sleep?"

"Only woke up once when you started mumbling in Russian, but you settled down when I put my hand on your chest. I was going to kiss you but didn't want to risk it. So…" I straddled his waist and pinned him down as I stole a kiss. "God, Buck. Anybody ever tell you even your morning breath is sexy?"

He laughed. "You really know how to build a guy's ego, baby doll."

"Hmm," I purred, running my fingers down his chest. "It's not your ego I want right now."

He pretended to be insulted as he adjusted under me. "Is that all I am to you? A piece of meat?"

"Of course not." I shimmied out of my shorts. "I totally respect you for your mind."

"Really?" He moaned as I slipped my hand between us and undid the single button on his ugly boxer shorts. "You promise?"

"Promise," I answered as I lowered myself onto him completely and began the slow ride to oblivion.

He let out an animalistic growl as I increased in speed, digging his fingers into my skin. I laughed, enjoying having so much control over such a powerful man and continued to push us forward until it felt like I was ready to break.

"Dammit, Des," he snarled, losing his sense of restraint as he pushed me onto the bed and took charged.

"Control freak," I teased before losing the ability to speak. I grabbed his shoulders and yanked him down for a kiss just as stars exploded behind my eyes. Screaming his name as everything became a blanket of primal abandon, I felt him fill me as he let out a grunting curse before going still.

He fell beside me, smiling as he looked over. "I love your wake-up calls."

"What about my afternoon delights?" I teased, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "And my water conservation efforts?"

He laughed as he got out of bed. "I love everything about you. Even your morning breath."

I propped myself up and watched him get ready for a shower. "Everything? Really?"

"You tell me. You're the empath." He leaned over the edge of our new bed and kissed my forehead before continuing.

I sat up and stretched. "But I never tried to feel you before."

He paused to shoot me a surprised look. "Never? Really?"

I nodded. "Yep. You said to stay out of your head, so I did."

He pulled me to my feet and gave me a deep kiss. "Anytime you wanna peek inside my head, you're welcome to it. I trust you, doll."

As he got into the shower, I considered his comment. It hadn't really occurred to me after our first conversation to revisit his concerns about my empathic abilities. I suppose I assumed his stance hadn't changed so why bother.

Now, he was giving me the freedom look inside his feelings, showing a level of trust I'd never encountered before. Slowly, almost like I was opening an unexpected gift I wanted to savor, I reached out to him. There were still so many levels of pain and regret I knew we'd always be working through for both of us, but there was also this beautiful white light of complete and total love that connected me to a single name and image: Me.

I knew instantly that he really did love me. Even after he'd seen my pain and been hurt by me using his, he still had so much love in his heart it brought tears to my eyes. Feeling what he felt for the first time, I knew I'd never doubt anything he said again. He loved me. He really did.

I pulled off my camisole and joined him in the shower. We laughed and played in the water until we looked like two prunes. Finally getting out, we toweled each other off before ending up in bed again. Naked and tangled in each other's limbs, I couldn't keep the smile off my face.

"What's so funny?" He asked as he stroked my hair.

I shrugged. "Just happy."

"That makes two of us, doll." He chuckled. "Wish I'd kept the other arm a little while longer. That way I could always have a hand on you."

I rolled my eyes. "Baby, you do just fine with the one."

Two weeks back in Wakanda passed quickly but happily. We continued working in our pasts, helping each other move through the painful memories that made us who we were and shared ourselves completely. I spoke with Shuri multiple times and she was certain they'd be able to find a use for me somewhere in the capital. Bucky and I agreed that staying in the village was where we were meant to be, though, so we were still working out some of the bugs on that front.

Life seemed so perfect. Since the day we stepped back on the stealth jet and returned, it'd been like a walking dream. I had a man who truly loved me, friends who were dear to me, and a life I knew was worth living. Of course, I gave up a comfortable job in New York, but Stark would understand. Hadn't be signed away his empire for love?

I was finally at a place where I always wanted to be, which was why when I noticed King T'Challa and his entourage arrive in the village, I felt sick. After only two weeks, the real world had come to steal our happily ever after away.

Glued to the doorway of our now shared home, I watched as the case as placed in front of Bucky. When it opened, I turned and went into our room and began packing my bags for what I knew was going to be a long time away.

"Des!" Bucky called when he came back inside after what felt like a lifetime.

"In the bedroom," I called back, continuing to pack. When he entered, I didn't turn to look at him when I asked, "How long do we have?"

"Not long." He walked over and embraced me from behind, planting kisses on the back of my head. "I'm so sorry, doll."

"Don't you dare apologize." I forced a smile as I turned to face him. "It's going to be fine. Unless you're breaking up with me. Then I'm gonna be really pissed."

He stroked my cheek. "Never. You're my best girl."  
I rolled my eyes. "Damn right. I'm your only girl."

"Sure are." He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my ring finger. "And after this is all over, I'm gonna make sure I'm your only guy. For the rest of our lives."

Even though I tried to keep my playful demeanor, tears rolled down my cheeks. "Then you better get back quick before somebody snatches me up. I hear I'm a catch."

"Sure are, doll." He held me close. "Promise you won't even know I'm gone."

After packing, we boarded the transport to the capital with King T'Challa and his personal guard, Okoye. As she and Bucky talked about the upcoming battle, I watched the king stare across his lands with a look of profound sadness on his face.

"Your Highness," I said, easing over to him.

He forced a smile as he looked down at me. "It's good to see you again, She-wolf. I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to celebrate your return."

"No problem." We stood in silence for a long time before I worked up the courage to ask, "It's going to be bad, isn't it?"

"I fear the worst any of us have ever seen." The sadness in his eyes deepened, causing me to bite my lip to keep from reaching out and hugging him. "The nightmare is upon us."

"But nightmares end, T'Challa." I rested my hand on his shoulder. "And sometimes we're better for them."  
He nodded as he turned away. "I pray you're right, She-wolf. For all our sakes."

I rejoined Bucky a few minutes before the transport entered the city. Seeing the line of people being prepared to evacuate, I felt an overwhelming sense of silent dread rolling through crowds.

"They're scared," I said softly, before turning to King T'Challa. "I'll help with get everyone to safety and try to keep them calm."

He nodded. "Thank you, She-wolf. My people appreciate your strength."

Before I climbed down, I felt Bucky take my hand. I looked up at him, trying to be strong even though it felt like I was losing him. Before I could stop myself, I jumped into his arms and kissed him.

"I love you, doll," he whispered as he held me.

"Love you too, Bucky." I stroked his cheek. "Hurry up and come back to me, please."

He smiled as he let me go. "I will. I promise."

I looked over at Steve as he entered my room at the compound. Forcing a smile, I chirped, "Hey, nomad."

"Des." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "So, Nat says you've been hiding out in here. Wanna talk about it?"

I rolled my eyes. "Nat needs to shut her big, stupid mouth. I'm fine and I don't want to talk about it. He's coming back, Steve. He promised he would."

He stood up. "All right. Well, if you need to talk."

"I know. Thank you." As he left, I stared out the window. "I know you're out there, Bucky. I just- I just need to be strong again. For both of us."

 _Author's Note:_

 _Thank you so much for taking the time to read_ _Broken_ _. I know you have a lot of choices for Bucky/OC fanfic so I'm glad you choose this one (Sorry. Channeling my inner Scott Lang there). I enjoyed writing this a whole bunch so if you have the time or inclination, please let me a review. Good or bad, I love hearing what y'all think of my work._

 _I also publish on Wattpad so if that's your site of choice, check me out there too. I keep a low profile so you really have to know where to look. Gwenking39465 is my username. Also, if you want to read something else I've done check out my AC: Syndicate story intitled_ _Wheel of Time_ _. The sequel will be out shortly too. It's long, but fun too._

 _Have a great week and hope to hear from you._

 _Thanks! GK_


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